How to Inspire Growth at Home and in Business

“You can lead a toddler to the potty, but you can’t make him pee.”

This lesson came to me during a particularly challenging moment with my three-year-old son, Lincoln. We had our routine: sit on the potty daily. No pressure, no forcing, just consistent effort. And eventually, it worked.

But what surprised me was how much this parenting moment mirrored something deeper. Growth, whether in our kids or our companies, doesn’t respond well to pressure. True progress thrives in an environment of trust, invitation, and space.

Whether you’re navigating a child’s development or trying to achieve business success, the principle holds. Pressure shuts people down. Trust brings them forward. It’s the difference between demanding and encouraging, between forcing and leading.

In this post, we’ll explore how to shift from control to influence in parenting, leadership, and personal development, and how that mindset shift can help grow your business, your family, and your impact.

Why You Can’t Force Growth (And Why It Backfires When You Try)

If you’ve ever tried to get a toddler to do something they’re not ready for, you know what I mean. Even when it’s clearly for their benefit, the moment you apply pressure, you hit resistance.

Lincoln was squirming one afternoon, obviously uncomfortable. I knew what he needed. But the second I insisted, the issue became control, not resolution.

The same thing happens in business. Employees resist change when they feel it’s being imposed. Customers opt out when they sense a lack of authenticity. You lose traction in your sales funnel if you push harder instead of building trust.

The key insight from our potty training success was stepping back and creating space for Lincoln to choose. As I mentioned, “You can sit ’em there and you can try to make ’em sit there until they go—while they’re screaming in your face.” But that approach breeds resentment, not growth.

Success came when we redefined the goal: just sit on the potty. We celebrated that. Not peeing. Not “achieving.” Just showing up. That clarity shifted everything.

Whether you’re potty training a toddler or managing a team, forcing outcomes often creates more friction than momentum.

The Difference Between Power and Force in Parenting and Business

In Power vs. Force, David Hawkins distinguishes between pushing people and drawing them forward. Force uses pressure, fear, or coercion to create compliance. Power invites cooperation and creates flow. Force pushes people into action. Power draws them forward.

In parenting, force sounds like bribes, ultimatums, yelling, or physical coercion around food, behavior, or milestones. In business, it’s micromanagement, fear-based deadlines, or leading through intimidation.

Power, on the other hand, creates alignment. It honors the other person’s autonomy while providing clear direction and support. It recognizes that lasting change must come from within, not from external pressure.

Think about your own experience. When has force been used on you? How did it feel? What was your natural response? Now, recall a time when someone believed in you. Maybe a mentor saw your potential before you did and invited you to develop new skills. How did that feel compared to being pushed? The difference in your response was likely dramatic.

That contrast is the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset, between control and trust, between pressure and true motivation.

How to Lead Without Control: A Better Approach to Growth

How to Inspire a Toddler to Grow (Without Losing Your Mind)

Our potty training became a lesson in empathetic leadership. We focused on routine over immediate results. Each day, Lincoln sat on the potty. That was it. The win was consistency, not the outcome. Over time, this built his confidence and eventually his independence.

That same strategy works when guiding a team. Let go of constant measurement and instead build steady rhythms of learning, feedback, and commitment. Success will follow.

What Positive Influence Looks Like in Business Leadership

John Maxwell’s “Five Levels of Leadership” breaks down the journey of leading with purpose:

1	Position	People follow because they have to.
2	Permission	People follow because they want to.
3	Production	People follow because of what you’ve done.
4	People Development	They follow because of what you’ve done for them.
5	Pinnacle	They follow because of who you are and what you represent.

Level 1 leaders are those who rely on authority, fear, or dominance they may get short-term compliance, but they breed long-term resentment.

Think about popular culture. How many stories feature tyrants who get taken down by their own people? We cheer when those authoritarian leaders fall because we recognize the injustice of leadership through force.

Higher-level leaders understand that lasting influence comes from genuine care for their people’s growth and success. They ask what their team members need and want. They build personal connections. They create environments where people eagerly contribute because they feel valued and seen.

The highest level of leadership involves building other leaders, creating a legacy that extends far beyond yourself. This only happens when you lead without control, when you lift others up rather than pressing them down.

At Levels 4 and 5, leaders don’t push. They invest. They recognize people’s unique ideas and create space for innovation. They create a path for others to reach their full potential. That’s how you attract and retain top talent, too. People don’t stay because of pressure; they stay because they feel seen, supported, and empowered to face new challenges.

Letting Yourself Be Led: A Personal Growth Shift

Here’s where this conversation gets personal. We often talk about how to lead others. But what about letting ourselves be led?

I learned this lesson powerfully through my relationship with Rachel. When we started dating, she was incredibly quiet. I later discovered she’d come out of an abusive relationship and was learning
to receive kindness again. The generosity and care I offered felt overwhelming to her.

But Rachel made a conscious choice. She developed a mantra: “I can receive this.” Even when kindness felt uncomfortable, even when it challenged her old patterns, she actively chose to stay open to the growth that love was offering.

That small shift changed everything. She saw kindness not as weakness, but as a new path forward.

She recognized that if she always did what she’d always done, she’d always get what she’d always gotten. Breaking the cycle required a conscious effort to receive new and better things, even when they felt unfamiliar.

How many times do we reject change because it’s inconvenient? What are we missing because it doesn’t look like what we expected?

This applies to all of us. Where have you said no to something that could help you grow? What opportunities have you rejected because they didn’t look like what you expected? What growth is trying to happen in your life that you’re unconsciously resisting?

4 Ways to Inspire Growth Mindset Without Control

Here’s how to move from pushing people to inspiring them:

1. Lead with rhythm, not reaction. Consistency builds trust and creates fertile ground for growth, at home or in the office.
2. Ask with curiosity, not command. Use open-ended questions with your team, your customers, and your kids. Invite dialogue.
3. Celebrate small wins. Whether you’re helping an employee grow or guiding a child through a milestone, noticing the “almost” moments builds confidence.
4. Create safety to take risks. Psychological safety is the foundation of creativity, learning, and long-term customer loyalty. Remove shame and fear, and people lean in.

The key to lasting growth and great leadership is not to push people, but to create the conditions where growth naturally happens.

When Growth Doesn’t Look the Way You Expected

During a recent challenge, Rachel said something that stuck with me: “This is exactly what we’ve been asking for—it just doesn’t look like we imagined.”

Sometimes, we resist growth because it shows up in ways we didn’t expect. The promotion might mean moving to a new city. A stronger relationship might take hard conversations.

In business, maybe that new market you’re breaking into doesn’t respond like your existing customer base. Maybe the services you’re offering need adjusting to fit a new target market. Maybe you’re talking to potential customers who aren’t quite ready, and it’s tempting to give up.

When you feel resistance, ask yourself: “Is this the change I wanted, just arriving in a different way?”

This helps you see past the discomfort and focus on what really matters.

Reflection Prompts for Parents and Leaders

Take a moment to honestly examine your approach to inspiring growth:

• Where am I forcing outcomes—at home or at work?
• Who has invited me into growth lately—and how did I respond?
• What would leading through trust look like for me this week?
• What’s one uncomfortable opportunity I could receive with openness?
• How can I create more psychological safety for the people I lead?
• Where might I be resisting growth because it doesn’t look like what I expected?

Want to Inspire Change and Grow Your Business? Be the Invitation

The best leaders, whether they’re guiding toddlers or managing a sales team, understand one thing: growth can’t be forced, but it can be welcomed.

I’ve seen this in both parenting and business. People think receiving is passive, but it actually takes effort. Growth needs both the leader and the person being led to stay open, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Be the one who creates space, who fosters trust, who encourages exploration. Let your company’s next chapter be one built on relationships, curiosity, and hard work, not control or urgency.

Lead your kids with grace. Lead your company’s growth with a strong sense of wisdom. And lead yourself with enough openness to learning opportunities from every situation.

You can lead a toddler to the potty. You can’t make him go. But with the right mindset, a safe environment, and a little faith, you can help him choose it on his own.

And that’s where real, lasting, and continued growth begins.

Ready to lead without control? Share your experience by emailing hello@babiesandbiz.com or tagging @babiesandbizpod. For more real-world examples, tune into Episode 92 of the Babies & Business podcast.