The Communication Skill That Makes You a Better Leader

Getting better at communication didn’t happen overnight. If you go back and watch my earliest YouTube videos, they’re honestly hard to sit through. I had a message, but I didn’t know how to deliver it in a way that landed.

Over time—through running a business, leading a team, parenting toddlers, and even teaching board games—I started to see what made communication work.

It wasn’t about having the perfect words or being charismatic. It was about helping people understand why something mattered before diving into the details.

In this blog, I’m breaking down one of the most practical communication skills I’ve learned. Whether you’re leading a team, raising kids, or juggling both, this simple shift can make you a better teacher, a better leader, and a better communicator overall.

Why Most Communication Fails Before It Begins

The Common Trap—Jumping Into the “How” Too Fast

We’ve all done it. You start explaining how to do something, it could be a task, a game, a process—and the other person just looks confused. It happens when we skip over one key thing: the why.

I see it most often when someone’s excited to teach a game. They dive into the rules, turns, and mechanics but forget to say what the goal of the game is. 

In the podcast, I talked about how confusing it can be when someone starts teaching without explaining the point. You’re sitting there thinking, Wait, why does this even matter?

That’s what the brain is always trying to figure out. And if you don’t answer that question early, the rest of your message tends to fall flat.

Why Your Audience (Team, Child, or Partner) Needs a Reason to Care

Whether you’re talking to your kid, your employee, or your spouse, they need to know why something matters. It’s not about being manipulative. It’s about helping their brain filter out the noise and focus.

Think about a toddler resisting bedtime. Think about an employee zoning out during a task explanation. In both cases, there’s no clear purpose. That makes it harder to cooperate.

When people know why it matters to them, they tune in.

Start with the End: How Purpose Shapes Every Message

Step 1 — Know Where You Want Them to End Up

Before I present, teach, or train anyone, I ask myself a simple question:

“What is the purpose of this podcast? What do we want our listener to have as a takeaway?”

That same question works in every situation.

If I’m teaching a game, I want the person to have fun and want to play again. If I’m coaching a team member, I want them to feel confident and clear on their next steps. If I’m helping my kid get ready for bed, I want calm cooperation, not a meltdown.

Knowing where I want them to end up shapes everything that comes next.

Step 2 — Structure Information to Serve That Goal

Once I know the goal, I build everything else around it. That means:

• Breaking big ideas into smaller, digestible parts

• Starting with what matters most

• Leaving out the stuff that causes overwhelm

For example, when I train a team member, I don’t micromanage every step. I tell them what success looks like and give them a few guardrails. That’s usually enough.

When I’m talking to one of my kids, I don’t list everything that’s about to happen. I say, “First we take a nap, then we can watch Blaze.” That gives them direction and reassurance. It keeps them from feeling lost in the moment.

Step 3 — Anticipate Questions and Build Trust

Before any conversation, I ask myself: What will their brain ask next?

This one question helps me get ahead of confusion. It’s how you build trust with your audience. You’re not just throwing information at them. You’re guiding them through it.

With employees, this might mean answering the unspoken “why are we doing this now?” With kids, it’s saying what’s coming up next. With a partner, it might mean explaining why something matters to you before asking for help.

The more you practice this, the more natural it becomes.

Practicing Communication Skills in Everyday Life

In Business Leadership

I used to think being a good leader meant having all the answers. Now I know it’s more about setting a clear direction and helping people move toward it.

When I assign something to a team member, I start by saying why it matters. I give them a goal, a few boundaries, and then trust them to figure out the rest.

“You just need to set them loose in the right direction and get them some guardrails.”

It’s amazing how much more confident and capable people become when they understand the purpose of their work.

In Parenting

With toddlers, communication skills matter a lot. If I just tell my son to stop watching TV and go nap, I’m probably going to get resistance.

But if I say, “First we take a nap, then we can watch Blaze,” the tone shifts. He still might not love it, but he knows what to expect. And that makes him feel safer.

Over time, these little cues help our kids build emotional intelligence. They learn how to navigate change, understand sequences, and connect actions to outcomes.

In Relationships

It took me a while to realize how often I was skipping the why in conversations with Rachel. I’d say what I wanted, but I wouldn’t always explain what it meant to me or why it mattered. Over time, I’ve learned how important it is to be clear—especially in marriage.

Educating your partner on what you like and what you don’t like isn’t just helpful—it’s a form of leadership and it builds trust. It creates space for both people to grow and stay connected.

Because what matters to your partner will change. And the only way to keep growing together is to keep the “why” clear and ongoing.

A Skill Worth Practicing (Over and Over)

I did
n’t become a better communicator overnight. It took years of practicing, watching others, and tweaking how I share things.

When I’m in an environment where somebody is presenting to me, I am learning much more about how to become an effective presenter. I treat every conversation as a chance to practice—whether I’m giving instructions to a teammate, explaining bedtime to a toddler, or hashing out plans with Rachel.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress.

Try This: One Way to Level Up Your Communication This Week

Before your next meeting, toddler moment, or talk with your partner, pause and ask:

What’s the goal here? What do I want them to take away?

Then start with why it matters to them.

This one shift can make your message land, your relationships smoother, and your leadership stronger.

Want more real talk like this? Check out the full podcast episode and subscribe to Babies & Business for more conversations about leadership, parenting, and life in the middle of both.