Hiring a Nanny? Think Through These 7 Things First
You think you’ve got it all figured out. You’ve read the blogs, browsed nanny websites, and even drafted a few interview questions. Then reality hits: so many things come up that you never thought to plan for. I found myself saying the same thing to friends who were considering the path we’d taken.
My husband Avram and I hired our first nanny when we had a three-year-old and a one-year-old. As work-from-home parents, we needed someone who could keep our kids happy and engaged while we focused on our business.
What we discovered was that hiring a nanny isn’t just about finding someone to watch your children, it’s about bringing another person into your home with all the complications that come with it.
This isn’t a theoretical guide filled with perfect scenarios. These are insights we wish we’d had before we started our 14-month journey with in-home child care.
Some things worked beautifully. Others caught us completely off guard. All of them taught us valuable lessons about what working parents really need to consider when bringing someone into the home for a nanny job.
Here are the seven most important things you need to think through before you bring someone into your home to care for your children.
1. Know What to Look For Beyond the Resume
Don’t Skip the “Why” Behind the Job
College degree? Nice to have. Still living at home with parents? That’s a bigger red flag than I initially realized.
If you’re still living with your parents, that could also be an indicator that you really don’t know what you want to do. Someone who hasn’t moved beyond living with family might not have the independence or drive you need in a nanny. More importantly, they might bring personal drama into your space because they’re not yet self-reliant.
When reviewing nanny candidates, one of the best questions to ask is: What’s your goal? I want to hear something like, “I’m working toward becoming a certified professional nanny and I’m getting hands-on experience with families like yours.” This tells me they’re driven, goal-oriented, and see the position as a meaningful stepping stone rather than just a paycheck.
When someone has clear direction in their life, they show up differently. The job has a purpose beyond the daily tasks because it’s helping them build toward something bigger. That’s the kind of mindset I now look for when outlining our own job description and expectations around job responsibilities.
2. Your Family’s Values Matter More Than You Think
This might feel uncomfortable to discuss, but your family values matter when someone spends every day with your child. Whether it’s religion, views on gender roles, or general parenting philosophy, you need alignment on the big stuff.
Avram and I wanted someone who shared our more traditional household approach. We realized we needed to be thoughtful about how we explored these topics during interviews. You can’t ask discriminatory questions, but you can hold clear expectations about how you want your children talked to and what values you want reinforced.
Whether it’s a live-in nanny or a live-out nanny, you want someone who’s on the same page. Consider speaking with an HR consultant if you’re unsure how to navigate these conversations legally.
The goal isn’t to overshare personal details but it’s to make sure there’s enough alignment that both you and your nanny feel comfortable with the daily interactions your child will experience.
3. Handle Payment Like a Pro from Day One
Do this right from the start. Track hours properly, pay taxes, and treat this like the legitimate employment relationship it is.
I used HomePay to manage everything legally. They helped me set up an LLC for our household employee, tracked required sick leave (here in New Mexico, it’s one hour of sick leave for every 30 hours worked), handled tax withholding, and issued the W-2. I didn’t have to worry about IRS issues or whether I was meeting my legal obligations as an employer.
You’ll pay a premium for quality nanny care, typically no less than $25 per hour, and often $30–35 for someone with strong credentials. Make sure your payment setup matches the professionalism you expect from your nanny. A good payroll service can help you navigate employer taxes, calculate overtime pay, and even prepare your employer identification number documents.
4. Cover Your Bases with Insurance
What happens if your nanny slips in your kitchen? What if they’re driving your kids to the park and get into an accident?
I wanted two types of insurance coverage: workers’ compensation in case our nanny got hurt on our property, and auto liability coverage if she drove our children anywhere. The workers’ comp took some searching, but I found a provider that worked with nannies.
The car insurance proved impossible in New Mexico. I couldn’t find anyone who would cover our nanny driving her vehicle with our children as passengers. This meant she never drove our kids anywhere during the entire time she worked for us. I wasn’t comfortable with the risk of an uncovered accident.
Check what’s available in your state early in the hiring process. This will help you set clear expectations about what your new nanny can and can’t do with your children.
5. Think Through the Daily Flow: It’s Not Just Babysitting
Food Expectations
On day two, our nanny asked, “Is food included?” I felt put on the spot and said yes without really thinking it through. We never revisited that decision, and it created complications I hadn’t anticipated.
When your nanny is making herself breakfast, what’s your child doing? If she’s focused on preparing her own lunch, is she giving your child the attention you’re paying for? The portions for a child are small compared to adult meals, so there’s a real question about where the focus goes during meal times.
Decide early whether you’ll provide meals or expect your nanny to bring her own food. Either choice is fine, but make the decision intentionally and communicate it clearly.
Activities and Schedule Planning
Who’s planning your child’s day, you or your nanny? This became a much bigger question than I expected.
You become the activity coordinator, in a way… because either you are planning them or your nanny is planning them. If your nanny is planning activities, you need weekly schedules with supply lists. If you’re planning them, you need to provide structure and materials consistently.
Set clear parameters about the types of activities you’re comfortable with. P
aint projects versus dry crafts. Science experiments like volcanoes versus quieter activities. Indoor options for hot days. Your nanny needs guidance to make good choices for your family and your home.
This is also where light cleaning, grocery shopping, and household tasks might come up. Make sure you’re clear about the job duties that fall under this role.
For some young adults, those expectations need to be explicitly outlined in the nanny contract especially if they’re taking on night shifts, helping with young kids, or working just a few hours a day.
6. Get Ahead of Communication Breakdowns
We started with a clear rule: phones stay out of sight during work hours. But when we needed to communicate about schedule changes or daily updates, the phone started creeping back in. Over 14 months, we watched phone use gradually increase beyond just our communication needs.
Looking back, I’d handle this differently. Maybe walkie-talkies or a dedicated device connected to WiFi for texting. Something that allows necessary communication without the temptation of social media, personal texts, or other distractions.
Also think about communication boundaries if you work from home. Establish when and how your nanny should approach you. Hallway conversations can disrupt both your work and your child’s routine. If you’re interviewing candidates, this is one of those few tips that can make or break the working relationship with a potential nanny.
7. Prepare for the Time Off Snowball
When our current nanny took a week-long vacation, we essentially took a staycation. There was no way to maintain our usual work productivity while providing full-time part-time childcare. And when she got sick, one of us had to step away from work right away.
We also noticed a tricky pattern: sometimes sick days would follow scheduled time off. A Thursday–Friday vacation could stretch into 10–14 days of full childcare duty once you factor in weekends and a Monday out.
Unlike daycare centers with backup staff, having a nanny means you are the backup. Being aware of that reality helps you plan ahead and protect your schedule, even if it means letting go of those super mom expectations once in a while.
Background Checks and the “Roommate” Test
Run a thorough background check through Care.com or similar services. This person will be in your home daily with your children. Use every tool available to check references and look for criminal records.
But beyond the official checks, apply what I call the roommate test. You’re going to see this person every day. You’ll come home from the gym and they’ll be there. You’ll grab something from the kitchen and they’ll be there. Their personal habits will become part of your household environment.
Ask yourself honestly: Do I like this person? Do I trust them in my space? Can I handle their daily presence in my home?
I also strongly recommend asking for the nanny’s references, calling past employers, and even having them take a strengths or personality test. Look for traits like nanny’s ability to follow through, adapt their caregiving style, and connect across cultural background.
Whether it’s one nanny, two nannies, a postpartum doula, or a former nanny returning for a second job, your goal is to find the right nanny, the right person for your family.
Want More Guidance? Listen to the Full Episode
These seven points just scratch the surface of what Avram and I learned during our hiring process. If you want to hear more detailed stories, specific examples, and additional context around each of these considerations, we unpack it all in Episode 95 of the Babies and Business Podcast.
If you’re on the fence about whether this is the right fit for your family, or you’re a new parent looking to avoid a bad idea, this episode covers the insights we wish we’d had from the beginning. Sometimes, all it takes is a few minutes to save yourself tens of thousands in stress and misaligned expectations.
