Some days, you’ve got it all under control; other days, you just want to throw in the towel. In this latest episode of Babies and Business Podcast, Avram and Rachel share a personal story about handling a tough day, with Avram feeling completely overwhelmed and Rachel stepping in to support him. They discuss the importance of giving each other space, staying nonjudgmental, and finding ways to manage the constant demands of life, parenting, and business together. Tune in to hear their insights on building a supportive partnership where both parents can get through the rough days, take a breather, and keep moving forward together.

Show Notes:

Key Highlights from this Episode:

• Avram and Rachel discuss the reality of tough days and feeling overwhelmed as parents and business owners.
• Avram shares his experience of reaching a breaking point and how overstimulation affected his day.
• Rachel steps in to support, offering space and nonjudgmental understanding.
• Key strategies for managing stress together while balancing life, parenting, and business.
• The importance of recognizing each other’s limits and allowing space for “off” days.
• Practical tools for building a resilient partnership and handling life’s chaotic moments.

Mentions & Resources:

Ryan Yokorme – Personal Coach and Host of Soul Wealth Podcast

Kris Britton – Women’s Empowerment Coach

Daniel Tiger – An animated children’s show that Rachel and Lincoln watch to understand feelings.

Mentioned Episodes:

E20 – Leading Your Life on the Masculine Edge with Ryan Yokome

E23 – Finding Your Flow in Motherhood and Entrepreneurship with Kris Britton

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Episode Transcription

Avram Gonzales: I’m just going to come right out with it and say I had a bad day this week.

Rachel Gonzales: So, so what do you do when your partner is having a bad day or spinning out? That’s a question I’d like to pose here.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, we’re going to tell you a story. I don’t have bad days.

Rachel Gonzales: No, you don’t.

Avram Gonzales: Not really. But I did this week and it was like, you know, Rachel had to kind of run for the hills.

Rachel Gonzales: No, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t that bad. It was, it was very much in jest that you’re saying that.

Avram Gonzales: I think it was coming from a really great weekend. Dumping into the week, 6:30 AM, our older child wakes up and he is pissed from second number one. Screaming, agitated about everything. I think we didn’t give him breakfast quickly enough.

Rachel Gonzales: How do you feel about screaming in the first place

Avram Gonzales: Oh my god, I get so overwhelmed by noise at a certain point that I just, I start to shut down.

My whole nervous system is just worked. I become short with people. Like, I

Rachel Gonzales: But you do remove yourself from the situation. So I will give you that. You’re never short with Lincoln or me. You always recognize that in yourself and you just take a break. So, there is that. You

Avram Gonzales: shield people from how from

Rachel Gonzales: You put earplugs in, which is nice for you because it shields you from that noise that’s just grating on you in so many ways.

Avram Gonzales: I think a lot of people know me as somebody who’s just relatively unfazed by stuff. But noise, and high levels of noise, and particularly screaming children, just really unravels me. So that’s how the day started, right? And then it was like every little thing agitated the fuck out of me. So yeah, this is now an explicit rated episode.

I just said fuck because that was really how I was feeling, you know, I was like, then it was, Just some BS with, I couldn’t even log into our zoom account to set up a meeting.

Rachel Gonzales: You were spinning out there and I was like, wow, you never spin out. No.

Avram Gonzales: I never spin out stuff like this so I’m not gonna go into everything about why I was feeling why I was saying it’s not the point of the podcast.

What is the point of this podcast is what Rachel did.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You know, what it was was. At the beginning, I noticed that you were getting agitated. So I suggested getting your earplugs because I don’t think at that point that you had gotten them. I think it was like, I don’t know where they are. I offered you mine. I was like, I know where mine are. I think you found them.

I think you also secluded yourself in the garage possibly. So that was really helpful. We have a workspace in the garage. We record our podcasts. We have a couch out here, all those things. So you did that. But what happened was I had a meeting and I needed to attend to that meeting and then I came out and I joined you and I noticed then that you were still grumpy. You were just really in it.

I asked you some questions. You were irritated when you answered. There were just a lot of things that happened that told me you’re in it and you really don’t want me around, don’t need me around and you just want to go through what you’re feeling.

Avram Gonzales: She was asking me some questions, basically like, what’s going on and what do we need to do today? What do we, this and that. And it was like, I just want. a win right now. I was working on something that was like, I think I just need to get some level. I didn’t have this awareness until later. I just felt like I needed to get something done, something going right for me that day to regain a sense of control.

So it didn’t matter what Rachel was saying to me. I was being unreasonable.

Rachel Gonzales: Well, and it seemed to me, too, that normally the questions that I was asking, the types of questions that I was asking, would bring you back to reality, maybe you were spinning out about the time that something would take, or that you don’t have this amount of time, or whatever that might be. There were a couple of different things that I’ve done, questions and things that I would say to you that would help us move through that, and it just wasn’t working.

So, once I got through those questions, I was like, okay, I’m gonna give you your space. I didn’t get up grumpy, I didn’t treat you any way, I didn’t place any judgment on you. All I did was, you’re grumpy, I don’t want to be a part of that, I’m goi
ng to remove myself from this, and I know exactly what I need to do. So, you came back into the office, I wasn’t in the office, I just went and did some stuff, I’m working on some Halloween projects for some costumes for our boys, and I just dumped myself into that and let you get on with working.

But you know, some questions when you’re struggling with a partner, maybe they’re having a bad day, you can ask some questions. These are some of the questions that we ask here in our relationship. Like, do you want me to listen or do you want a solution? Oftentimes for me, I want to be listened to, I don’t want a solution.

Sometimes for you, you do want a solution, but also you do want to be listened to. So I think that question is a really great one to ask because you really don’t know and things change.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, I’m going to do a plug for some interviews that we did last year that I think are well worth it for you to go explore. We have separate interviews with a power couple, Ryan Yokome and Kris Britton, and they each talk about the masculine in business and the feminine in business. And this question about, do you want me to listen or do you want a solution is good for both masculine versus feminine archetype people. So we’ll put those in the show notes. You can go listen to Ryan’s perspective on the masculine, Kris’s perspective on the feminine, and how that question plays into it. Fascinating. Fascinating. Different people need different things at different times, and that’s why it’s a powerful question

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely. And it’s never the same if it, I think the biggest thing that we can do for our partner is never expect them to be the same or require the same thing.

Avram Gonzales: Mm,

Rachel Gonzales: Always expect something different and allow them to be different, show up different, be different. Like you had that day and I was like, Hmm, this is very different than what normally Avram shows up at, but also I allowed you to be that because I want that same grace for myself because I have bad days too. I mean, I have bad days way more than you do. You’ve had one in our relationship. No, it’s probably more, but I just feel like I’m way more moody than you. Um, that gets a bad rap too.

Avram Gonzales: It does. Well, tell me the thing, before we recorded this one, you told me something a really funny quote and then you told me where it was from and I just,

Rachel Gonzales: Well I said, feelings come and feelings go, and Lincoln and I are watching a lot of cartoons and different shows and trying to find things there, that help him with feelings and emotions and learning things, and it was from Daniel Tiger. He really likes Daniel Tiger, so I told you that quote, and you’re like, oh, I really like that quote, and I said, it’s from Daniel Tiger.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. Yeah, little kids show. It was so perfect for me that you shared it and for this podcast because we can be so different from the morning to the afternoon and we can be so different from this moment to 30 minutes from now.

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely. Well, and you know, our relationship, we don’t fight. And I wouldn’t even say that we fight silently. We don’t fight. we just allow each other, to have space, and to be who they are, and to be different, and really that’s, I think that’s a huge thing for us, a huge tool that we use in our, in our relationship.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, so like that was our morning. There was nothing that Rachel could really like do about it. She didn’t judge me That’s a really important piece I didn’t feel like I needed to be anything other than I was and I remember I left to go have birthday lunch with my dad, right? It’s his birthday. Happy birthday, dad and You said to me that you said go phone with your dad take a nice break and I’ll see you in a couple hours. Right come back when you feel like it’s time to comeback.

Rachel Gonzales: Exactly. I was not putting a time limit on you, I wanted you to feel like you could get the escape that you needed, whatever that looked like.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, and I left and I’m driving down to go meet my dad and I’m like I need an attitude adjustment and this time away is the time that I’m going to use to make that adjustment because I also, once I got a little bit out of it, I was like, I don’t like feeling like this and I can change that.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Well, and I think another tool that we can use is, in your relationship, you can give each other permission. Just have it out there to let you know, I need help. So if I need help, I know that I can tell you I need help. And you know that you can tell me you need help. But also letting it just be there that I don’t need to be the source of your solution.

And I don’t need to be a part of it either. I think a big thing is, you know, your attitude, having, being frustrated with the kids, could have set me off and we could have gotten in a fight. And, you know, I’ve seen the movies where people blow up at each other and it could have totally been that way and it wasn’t.

And I just think that, you know, if we think about things more in our situations that we can be, just be authentic to who we are and allow those around us that we love to be the same for themselves.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, it was really helpful for me being on the struggle bus that you just took a state of non judgment and I didn’t feel like you were like, getting up and leaving in a huff. Like, well, you don’t want me here, then fine. It was just not like that

Rachel Gonzales: I don’t need you to manage my feelings when you’re having stuff on your own. You don’t need to be getting out of, like I had my past relationship, it was really, really hard because he never wanted me to cry. And you know, there was all these things because it made him feel a certain way and I never want you to feel like you need to do something with how you’re feeling in order to make me feel okay in the situation that you should be supported in. You know, so, allowing you to feel the way that you’re feeling and give you space. I, I would like that for myself and it’s worked for us.

So I think that’s a great thing. And, you know, to really conclude what we’re talking about is having nonjudgmental is really the way through when you find that your spouse or your partner is really in it, whatever that may be, just not having judgment about it, letting it be. And then it really makes the other side of that problem or situation or time so much different. There’s no apologies. No, I’m sorry. I said this and I’m sorry. I was like this, you know, there’s none of that. It’s a, it’s a better side on the outside.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. We’d love to hear from you. We’ve got a question this week. You can find us on Facebook and Instagram. Connect with us @babiesandbizpod. What do you do to support your partner when they’re spinning out? We shared a couple things that worked for us this time. We’d love to hear some more tools and tactics that you’ve got to wrangle your hubby who’s spinning out.

So we’d love to connect with you on social media. Go find that post, leave us your, your tips. We’d love to hear them. With that, we appreciate you for listening in. We’re still looking for those five star reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. So go there and go click, click, click, and show people how bad ass the Babies and Business Podcast really is.

And With that, we’ll catch you in the next episode.

Rachel Gonzales: Bye for now.