Avram and Rachel Gonzales discuss their unique approach to goal setting and share their experiences and insights. They emphasize the importance of being intentional, setting personalized goals, and focusing on the journey rather than just the destination. They also encourage listeners to simplify their goals, ask better questions, and prioritize what truly matters to them.

Show notes:

[03:06] Why goal setting can feel confusing or fruitless at times

[06:39] Why the goal itself doesn’t really matter (and a better way to use them!)

[12:27] Rachel talks about what really matters versus what we think matters

[18:59] One simple tool that makes goal setting easy to do, and more effective in the long run

[20:16] Your goal setting challenge for 2024 – this could change everything for you!

Mentions & Resources

Attracting Super Sick Deals with Michael Schlichte – Podcast Episode

Digital Harvest – Avram and Rachel’s Company

Worst Client Ever – Podcast Episode

Simplify to Multiply – Podcast Episode

Episode Transcription

Below you will find a transcript of this entire podcast episode. Enjoy!

​Avram Gonzales: It’s that time of year? Last month or so here, reflecting back, making goals. It’s Avram Gonzales here, joined by my fabulous co host Rachel Gonzales. 

Rachel Gonzales: Hello! 

Avram Gonzales: And, uh, we’re enjoying a baby free day today. Got some babysitting. Had a lot of things going on here over Thanksgiving, but now getting back to the podcast and sharing things that are working for us that might inspire a change in your home or your business. We thought that goals and talking about goals and the way that we do it a little bit different than most could be a worthwhile topic of conversation. 

Rachel Gonzales: Well, I think we both agreed that when you talk about goal setting, everyone’s eyes glaze over.

It’s like, oh, this again, because it’s always the same thing over and over and over. And when we look at goals, it’s a little bit different because we, well, we’re different. We see things differently, but also we think out of the box. We do a lot of reflection to find out if goals are our own. We look to see what we’ve accomplished.

We get a lot of motivation from what we’ve accomplished already. And then we move forward with the other things that we want to accomplish. And over the time being together, we’ve done so much. And it’s because we’ve looked at what we want to accomplish. 

Avram Gonzales: We’ve been intentional about it, so that’s going to come up a lot in today’s conversation.

So, if you feel like you’ve heard it all before, you’ve maybe done some goal setting and things in the past, maybe you’ve been frustrated by the process, or bogged down by the process because it seems like a lot, I think this episode’s for you. I think if you’re somebody who’s not motivated by Financial goals specifically or only this episode is definitely for you.

We’ve got some tools and resources and things that we’re going to share with you and I just really hope you enjoy this conversation that we’re having and letting you in on really how we see it and what we’ve used to build a life that we’re pretty proud of with, with our business and our family being so integrated and just all in one pot.

Um, this episode is for you. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: So, um, Rachel, how would you say we treat goals differently than others? What are some of the things that we’ve done? Just, just different. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You know, I, I think that what we do differently is we don’t allow other people’s ideas of success and doing, uh, great things, whatever that might be.

We don’t let those goals that we’re seeing other people accomplish just translate right over into our home. We actually decide what is it that we want to do. Like goals are like a destination really far out, but you have to get on the right road. So if you want to go somewhere, you need to make sure that you’re actually in the right direction to go there.

 I look at where is it that I want to go? And if I wasn’t accomplishing a goal this last year, maybe it wasn’t in alignment with what I really want and what really actually Matters to me. So there’s some of that stuff that I look at when I’m, when I’m setting goals and not beating myself up about not accomplishing something.

Avram Gonzales: Sure. Quick plug for an episode, our first guest with Michael Schlichte on the podcast, uh, How to Create Super Sick Deals. We talk about in that, uh, Mike shares. How if he’s been going after a goal for six months to a year and he looks at and reflects on that and he hasn’t made any forward movement on it, maybe it’s not something that you actually want. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: So go check that podcast out. I think that’s a big one you touched on Not allowing other people’s ideas of success become your own. I know for example, we’ve been involved in several industry masterminds for marketing agencies and it’s great to have financial goals. It does have a purpose in your business. But, I think some of the arenas that we’ve been in before, p eople are mostly celebrated for how much money they are making, and how big the business has grown. But, when you peel back the curtain, you realize these other agency owners are working themselves to the bone.

And they don’t even have time for their kids. 

Rachel Gonzales: Or they have a lot of turnover. Or, like, turnover with staff or turnover with, um, the clients. We, we kind of, um, had to reassess because we were in these masterminds and we were seeing all these things, but we were feeling like a failure because we weren’t actually meeting the metrics of success in those groups and we were able to see, well, those are good goals, but when it comes to financial goals, it’s kind of not great for us because why stop there?

That’s a question that we’ve asked is when we’re setting these goals is like, yes, we have this financial goal, but how are we going to get there? If you just set a financial goal, you, you’re going to feel failure if you have no way of getting there. So it was nice to look at what other people deemed as success, realizing that didn’t align with the fact that we were going to have a child and that we were going to have less time for the business.

So we couldn’t be a workaholic. Well, you can be a workaholic with kids, but we chose not to be. We chose that our little boy would be at home with us and we would get to know him and he’d get to know us. And we get to experience all those really cool things happening. 

Avram Gonzales: I think you brought up a good point.

Yes, andRight. So some of these metrics and things that you might put in place are good. And you also want to account for the other parts of your life that are important to you. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: You know, it wasn’t until having a baby that, first of all, our time was constricted in such a dramatic way and with that constriction of the time, the resources that we had, we started to realize, well, if we didn’t put something on the calendar, it just didn’t happen.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: So, you know, we’re looking at things right now. It’s like, well, what’s the big family trip that we’re going to take next year? 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: Let’s put that as a goal, right? Because if it doesn’t make its way out of the calendar, it doesn’t make its way into our awareness, it’s probably not going to happen.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: So it’s like we’re touching on that family goal. What is the point of that goal? More connection? Memories? We’re gonna be, you know, even though Lincoln will probably not have that specific memory when he gets older, he will certainly carry that feeling and that experience forward into everything else that he has going on in his life.

Rachel Gonzales: Sure. And then not waiting for whatever that destination is, like, how old does a child have to be until it’s okay, that it’s okay, or to take them to see, you know, exactly, like, that it’s worth it. I think that when we start gauging things as worth it, I think we’re trying to justify not doing something on in some levels when we’re setting goals for especially personally for me, that sometimes I just think, Oh, well, this is gonna be a strain on money or this is gonna be a strain of time or whatever it is that it requires of us.

Um, I had a real big realization, um, that I have always driven through places, and not stopped. 

Avram Gonzales: Well, you can tell the story. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You know, we were going to a funeral in Utah and, um, I, uh, I mean, I’m gonna get emotional just thinking about this because I have lived in New Mexico most of my life and um, we would travel to Utah a lot. I’ve probably gone to Utah, uh, 20 plus times. And I’ve always driven through Moab and Moab is gorgeous. If you’ve never driven through Moab, oh my goodness, beautiful rocks, formations, and beautiful state park. But, um, I’ve never stopped. Not once. It’s always been driving through.

And I had the realization this summer that I no longer want to live my life driving through destinations and places and things. I want to actually arrive. Go to those places for a reason. I want my son to feel like life is worth going after. And so goals, uh, mean a lot to me um, because if we don’t set a goal to actually go and see Moab, we never will.

It will never happen. And I want that. I want to stop and smell the roses along the way. 

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. So much of life is just happening already and occurring. And we find ourselves in reaction to it frequently without creating a goal as a signpost or a benchmark for where we’re headed as a reminder that we’re going the right direction.

You just simply get lost in the day to day of what’s going on. That’s one of the things that has changed a lot for us as we came together in our business. For those of you who don’t know, Rachel actually had her own and different business before she joined me in Digital Harvest as, you know, partners, andas we’ve moved forward together, one of the things that we started to do with our goals is treated them a little bit less of a destination.

Cause you knock out the goal and you realize you knocked it out and you feel good for about 10 seconds. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: Right? And not to sound too cliche, but you know, they say that the journey is not about the destination. Well, one of the things that we started using goals for is just to help us find direction.

Rachel Gonzales: Right. 

Avram Gonzales: And whether we hit that actual goal or not. It helps us stay on track with what’s important. So when we take the example of wanting to take this family trip, we want to go camping this summer before the next baby is born. That’s a, that’s a big announcement. All right. Yes, we’re having another baby in June of 2024.

We want to go camping before then. Well, there’s a lot of steps in between here and that trip actually happening. So without having that written down, without having talked about it, without having picked that date, how could we possibly expect for that to occur with everything else that’s going on in life?

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: It just wouldn’t. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: I mean, let’s say we get down to that, that time, which is gonna likely be in May, and circumstances have shifted, and maybe we can’t go do that specific trip? Guess what we’ve already done. We’ve laid the groundwork to go do basically anything else that we want to do instead. 

Rachel Gonzales: Right.

Avram Gonzales: Not about that specific place or that specific date but we’re heading in the direction of having this experience that we’ve planned for and that’s going to work out for us 

Rachel Gonzales: Well, and I think You know, when we, um, sometimes, uh, well, goals can be a trigger for people because maybe they’ve set a lot of goals.

Maybe, maybe it’s like a weight loss goal. You know, it can be something like that, that caries a lot of emotion, a lot of stuff, and they’ve just not accomplished that goal. Um. I just look back at when we were together, um, I don’t think we were married. Maybe we were just getting, getting all of our finances stuff together.

There was a lot of stuff you were figuring out. There was a lot of stuff I was figuring out. And I look back at the things that we accomplished. I remember we didn’t have a ton of money. We definitely didn’t have a ton of money, but I remember looking back recently over some of the things that we accomplished, and I thought, wow, it was like $20 was so much money at a certain point, and money was not an obstacle for going and having those experiences, whatever those things were.

I don’t even remember what it was that I was specifically looking at. But I thought, you know, the things that we remember years after are the things that we do with people that we love. It’s the experiences. So, along the road of creating, so, like you were saying, goals aren’t a destination. They’re kind of like a stop off point on the way to your destination, which is life.

It’s all the way through. You’re moving, hopefully, in a forward momentum. So, choosing where you want to stop off, instead of having it like the gas light is on and you must stop here, even though this is a really bad part of town or something like that. Instead of letting something be an obstacle, Maybe ask the question, how can I make this happen?

Instead of, well I don’t know if I can make this happen, how can I make this happen? If you want something, set the goal. Sometimes it takes saving for a year. Sometimes it takes, um, really planning things out so that you can take off an entire two weeks or a month to go and do this thing. But whatever that is, it takes preparation.

And I think that’s really what we’re talking about is with goals, it’s not about necessarily all the things happening all at once, but it’s that you want to accomplish something and how do you get there. 

Avram Gonzales: And just putting you mentally in the game to be able to accomplish those things. You’ve picked those things out.

I think bringing this back to like, how do you know a goal is actually your goal? When you write it down, I’m actually, we’re recording this in our office right now and on the wall we have, uh, something taped up that talks about what’s possible with our business when we do this, this, and this, and some of our, some of our goals.

And there’s this whole list of things that are a reminder of why we’re doing what we’re doing. And so we’re able to just continually move forward in this direction. You know, one of our goals that’s a part of this sheet of paper is making our business in such a way that it eventually doesn’t need us.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: It’s like, why? Well, we have all the reasons why. But I think that you know a goal is not your own, or a goal is not important to you, when you’ve talked about it, you’ve written it down, you’ve declared it, and then you spend some time, and you realize you didn’t do anything about it. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, it’s true.

Avram Gonzales: Right? I mean, we write down so many things that we would say are goals or even just tasks that are on the way that, uh, we write them down, maybe life happens and then we don’t get to them, but then we find that checklist or whatever later, like that note that you wrote yourself. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yes. 

Avram Gonzales: All of it’s done. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yes, yes. Oh, I love those notes. 

Avram Gonzales: Isn’t that interesting? 

Rachel Gonzales: I love those notes. When you actually see the list and you see so many of them are done, it truly means that they were all about where you were going and what you wanted to accomplish. Um. Um something that I love that we do that helps us, it’s kind of like having core values for your business or like guardrails on a road, is having a theme for the year that it’s something that we keep in mind, like for the longest time, I can’t think of the word.

Avram Gonzales: I already know the word. Well, the last, we actually chose the same word two years in a row because the first year it was so great. In the second year, we just wanted to squeeze the shit out of it. 

Rachel Gonzales: Right. 

Avram Gonzales: And the word was intention. 

Rachel Gonzales: Intention. Right, right, right. Intention. So, you know, what that meant to us was, whatever we’re doing, are we doing it with intention?

Or are we being intentional in the things that we’re doing? Like, if Avram and I are in an argument, we can choose different ways to come out of it. We can think, well, I think of this, is how can I, what could I do in this situation where I could get closer to you? Because that’s my ultimate goal. Is it, is it being quiet and not saying something that I would regret?

Or is it just simply letting it go over and we don’t actually have to come to a resolution? We can both have different opinions and then we go on our way, you know. So, uh, I just think it’s a really beautiful thing when you can have a goal. You can have all these different things that help you understand if it’s yours, you can have something that guides you along the way, like those guardrails, um, whether it’s a word or it’s a phrase or it’s, uh, those intentions, pun intended, uh, but that can really get you where you want to go and help you, I mean, gosh, there’s so much that you can do in life.

I read one time. That if you read one book, like, a month, you could never, ever, ever get through all the books that have been written. My mind was blown. Because there’s so much information out there. There is so much to consume, so much to see, experience, and do. And if we’re not being intentional about tha t, things just get lumped in our lap.

Avram Gonzales: You have many choices, and by choosing something, you say no to a lot of other things. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: I think that’s why we chose the word intention or intentional for the last two years because we were faced with a lot of new opportunities with having a child. 

Rachel Gonzales: Oh, yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: And that meant saying no to a lot of other opportunities or experiences and being intentional became really important for our, not just survival, but, but thriving in the future because there’s just certain things that are going to fill you up and certain things that are going to detract from that or just not really give you any sustenance at all.

Choosing that theme really simplified life for us. It also gave us the grace to just fill that in however we needed to without being so strict about what are we doing this quarter? What are we doing this year? And don’t get us wrong. We may even do follow up podcasts on this about how we break things down a lot further, but simplicity has really been the core of so much of our ability to be more intentional and that’s served us well. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, and you know success breeds success when if you keep those things on your list that you’re not accomplishing that really do not fill you up for whatever reason whether it aligns with whatever you’re doing or whatever, for whatever reason that it’s not getting accomplished.

Uh, we’ve found a lot of success in scrapping it and feeling no remorse and just moving on. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Move on, but also find success like where are you succeeding? Because success leads to success. And it’s so motivational. So, as we’ve looked and seen all the things that we’ve accomplished, it just makes you want to do even more.

Like, wow, how can we accomplish even more? How can we have even more awesome experiences with each other and those different things that we’re looking to have? 

Avram Gonzales: My challenge to you this month, as you reflect back and you start setting goals, is to take an axe to all the extra stuff that you’re adding to your list that you want to do in 2024.

Maybe the goal is write it all out and then chop it in half. And then chop it in half again. And that’s probably going to serve you better than having 10 or 15 things that you want to do this year. Break it down to one, maybe three, couple different categories, and call it a day. Your life will be so much better if you simplify.

And, uh, that’s my challenge to you. So, if it’s been sitting there for the last year or two years and you haven’t done it, axe it. Right? If there’s been no forward progress or it just seems like it’s going to be a really big lift or a different thing from what you’ve currently been doing that’s working well, axe it. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: This is the year for doubling down on what’s already working for you Multiplying your strengths, and then you’re gonna have the best year ever. 

Rachel Gonzales: And I think the thing that I would add to that is ask better questions. If you’re not getting where you want to go like you’re not taking those those Stops along the way in your life, and you’re not seeing those things that you have denied yourself mine is Moab. If you’re not doing that then ask different questions. You know, you can listen to another podcast that we talked about, um, about our Worst Client Ever.

You know, we were asking the wrong question, the entirety of that relationship, and it was painful. And then when we actually asked the question, is this working for us? There was profound and utter clarity that it wasn’t. So with your goals, you know, if you’re unhappy or, or whatever it is, that is, is the struggle in your life, just ask a question and maybe the positive of that. However, you can get that thing or experience, whatever it is, ask something positive instead of having such negative emotion around it. 

Avram Gonzales: Anything else you’d like to add as we wrap this episode up? 

Rachel Gonzales: I, I think, I mean, 

Avram Gonzales: There’s a lot. 

Rachel Gonzales: There’s another podcast.

You could look at Simplified to Multiply. You know, um, like you said, if you’re not doing it, axe it. Um, I, I just think it’s, it’s that. Ask better questions and cut things and, and make it easier to accomplish. If you can’t accomplish ten things, you can definitely accomplish one or two. 

Avram Gonzales: It’ll be a surprise.

You’ll end up hitting a lot of the financial goals anyway when you take care of the things that just really matter to you and fill you up. In the journey of life, there’s so many different choices. And if they’re not contributing to you in a positive way and you’re just driving past them, as you mentioned, uh, you’re going to look back and have a lot of regrets, I think.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You will regret not seeing Moab. You really will. 

Avram Gonzales: So with that, we appreciate you tuning in to the podcast today. We do have a special, important request of you. And that’s to go to Apple Podcasts it’s called now and leave us a review. So yeah you can click like the five star thing But it would really mean a lot and be helpful for the podcast and reaching more people to share your review and what you’ve gotten that’s been positive from the podcast so others can see it all of today’s references and things will be included in the show notes including past episodes so please leave us that review on Apple Podcasts.

We look forward to catching you on the next episode. Thanks for tuning in. 

Rachel Gonzales: Bye for now.