Juggling a full-time business while raising a family can often feel like you’re being pulled in two directions all at once. Avram and Rachel Gonzales, parents and hosts of the Babies and Business podcast, know this struggle all too well. In their latest episode, they open up about the challenges of running a business together while raising a baby and a toddler. They discuss navigating the work-life balance and redefining their roles at home, sharing insights on finding the right formula to make everything work while ensuring everyone feels fulfilled in their household roles.

Show Notes:

Key Highlights from this Episode:

• Avram and Rachel open up about balancing their family and business life.
• Challenges they’ve faced managing both parenting and entrepreneurship full-time.
• Honest reflections from Rachel about stepping back from the business to focus more on family.
• Avram shares how they’ve redefined their roles through candid conversations.
• The couple discusses managing guilt when dividing time between work and home.
• Rachel’s journey of prioritizing family while still contributing to the business.
• Avram talks about the importance of fully committing to one role at a time.
• Insights on creating harmony by shifting responsibilities and finding balance.
• The concept of “seasons” in business and parenting, and how they apply it to their lives.

Mentions & Resources:

BNI (Business Networking International) – A global business networking organization designed to help members increase their business through referrals.

Diary of a CEO Podcast – A popular podcast hosted by Steven Bartlett, featuring candid interviews with successful entrepreneurs and leaders about their journeys and business insights.

Mentioned Episodes:

E51 – Why Rachel is Leaving BNI After 6 Years (And What’s Next)

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Episode Transcription

Avram Gonzales: Can you raise a family with both parents working in the business full time? If you’ve been listening for a while, you know that Rachel and I have been struggling with the pull between both worlds, business and family. And in that struggle, we’ve explored a lot, figured out more what’s important to us.

Recently, episode 51 of the podcast, we shared that Rachel is stepping away from BNI, Business Networking International group that she’d been a part of about six years, was taking a lot of time and maybe not a hundred percent aligned with her goals. And through that experience and reflecting on the last, what, three weeks or so since that decision, four weeks now, we’ve come a long way.

And we’re still examining how you can make it work when there’s just not enough time in the day.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. I mean, not just that, but the different things that pull your attention and what you want to focus on, you know, my goals have changed. I want to be with my boys more. I don’t want to feel guilty being with my boys because I should be working, and doing this or that task or whatever that might be.

Avram Gonzales: but I still have a lot of things that I’d like to contribute to the business. So there’s that pull. And, That’s what we wanted to explore today. You know, can you both be working full time in the business and have a family? And I think for me, the answer is no, Yes.

Rachel Gonzales: I cannot. And I, and I don’t want to either.

I want to have it more of the business is secondary to the family for me and for you business or family is secondary for you. The contribution that we make for our family is you work in the business. The majority of the time. And I work in the family the majority of the time .

Avram Gonzales: Why?

Rachel Gonzales: Because I want that and you want that both places benefit more. So you could reference the previous podcast that you listened to, um, about the different hats. You know, if you have multiple hats that you’re wearing, none of them get the proper attention that they deserve. So I find the pole with I want to be with my boys, but I feel guilty really being present with my boys because I have work to do and I need to get in there.

Avram Gonzales: And, you know, right now I’m really limited, even though we have a nanny and she’s here from 8:30 a. m. to 12:30 and Lincoln goes down for a nap at 12. So we essentially have. The ability to work from 8:30 to about 1:30 when Lincoln wakes up, so that’s a significant chunk of time even though that’s available for me, I find that I’m not able to do that as a breastfeeding mom because August is up he needs to eat then I’m holding him while he’s awake for his wake cycle and then he goes back down to sleep, and then I have just a limited time so Really being honest about what I want is really really you know helpful for me I think most entrepreneurs can relate to the story I’m about to share, which is having one foot in and one foot out. In the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey back in 2009, 2010, I was working 30 hours a week at my family’s dry cleaning business. Going to grad school and building my first business online.

And I remember this conversation with an old friend of mine, and he’s like, dude, If you really want to make this work, at some point, you are going to have to burn the boats and leave your job so that you can dedicate that time to your business. And I was like, yeah, but I can definitely make something happen with the three to four hours I have a day that are in the evening before I go to bed and I can just grind it out. But it’s not just about the time that you have invested to do something and accomplish something. It’s about your attention and the focus that you can give something and when you’re not doing that thing that you can be present with the other thing and so,

Rachel Gonzales: but can actually turn that other thing off.

Avram Gonzales: you turn the other thing off.

So what I found was by the time that I finished grad school and I did burn the boats, I gave myself six months for the business to provide enough income for me to live. And that’s exactly what happened. Okay. I replaced. Yeah. It grew to fill that. I replaced the income that I was getting. Okay. So I was back to what I was used to and then I could grow from there.

And it’s like, again, it’s just not about the time. It’s about the focus. And so it was like, when I’m at the dry cleaner, I’m thinking about the business. I’m not actually ther
e at the dry cleaner

Rachel Gonzales: sure. but also you’re, you’re probably maybe thinking, you know, I could make way more money, I could get way further in my goals. I could, you know, you’re really distracted there because you really, your heart and your thoughts and your mind really wanna be in that other place. And that’s kind of where I felt,

Avram Gonzales: That’s where you have felt. You have felt the pull from the business in such a way that was like, man, this is really detracting from my goals and what I want at home.

Rachel Gonzales: I mean, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. That is an underlying theme here in this podcast. I have always wanted to be a mom and I have two beautiful boys and I want to be around them. I want to be with them in the evenings and in the afternoons when they wake up from their naps and, uh, not feel guilty, but also help our business grow in the way that I can.

Avram Gonzales: Mm hmm. So, you know, I think like before this shift we can talk about here we were like, so where do you think we were like percentage wise in terms of our our mental state? You know, Rachel feels like she was like 60 percent business, 40 percent home. I felt like I was more like 70 percent business, 30 percent home.

And it’s totally shifted for Rachel.

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely.

Avram Gonzales: now it’s like 20% In the business and focus on the business, but 80 percent is like, you know, now that we’ve relieved her of certain things and activities, and we’ll talk more about this in the future podcast, we’re working on transitioning Rachel out of all of the day to day stuff, so no more client facing things that have her tied to the computer at specific times

Rachel Gonzales: Right,

Avram Gonzales: Right

Rachel Gonzales: the specific times are what are the most, um, frustrating during this time because with a baby, they could be napping at 11 today and next week. It could be a totally different time So when I set my meetings, it’s it’s just not gonna work and then I have a crying baby Which is not okay on a business meeting, you know that kind of stuff.

So we want to avoid

Avram Gonzales: Mm hmm. So we shifted it, right? So we said, you know what Rachel like let’s just not have you doing some of that stuff. Now your focus is 20 business, but the majority is at home, right? So it’s like what have I seen in Rachel? I have seen her, you know looking up all these new recipes to cook and prep food for Lincoln.

Um, she has baked more in the last two weeks than she had in the previous six months. Right. Something that she likes to do. Um, you know, there’s just all these things.

Rachel Gonzales: and I grew up making things from scratch, so I really know, I have a lot of knowledge around that, and I really enjoy doing that. So I’m really in my happy place. In addition to, you know, checklists and all these things that I can accomplish, I feel like I can really bring that strength to our family, the organization and of our home and our spaces and the, the home feeling that it can have and the love and that’s kind of space.

That’s what I can bring. And, and the food that is good for our bodies and going to help us grow it. Those things matter. So I have really been in my happy place in this new, um, ratio of 20 percent business, 80 percent at home. And I, I am not feeling guilty about the things that I can and cannot do.

I’m just seeing that those are things that are also going to phase out, but I do the things that are required.

Avram Gonzales: Right. And then for me, it’s like, I have this ambition and this drive to, to grow. And I have felt so I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way. I have felt so held back by the home life

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: because a lot of times what’s happening for me is I’m sitting here and like, let’s talk about like last week, last, last week the baby woke up earlier than expected and you had a meeting. So I had to step away from work to hold the baby for 30 minutes while you took a meeting instead of working. And so I’m sitting there and I’m like, this sucks. I have things that I wanted to do today for the goals of our business and that is a micro example of how much I have felt like I am just sitting here waiting until the next time that I can work

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Well, and, and that’s one example where I am not able to say, Avram, you go, I’ve got this, you go, you go work, you go, you go out of the house if you need to, to work. Um, that’s an example where I actually can’t, I am required for that meeting. So that is also another reason why we’re. getting me out of the client meetings, because then I am not bound to time.

Then what it offers me the ability to do is say, no, Avram, this is your time to work. Go, go do it. You don’t have to feel bad. I’ll bring you snacks. You want to work all the way up until 1. 30. I’ll bring you snacks. Then you can eat lunch. You know, that’s the kind of place that I want to be. I love being a support role for people.

In, in so many different ways. And I, I love that role in our household,

Avram Gonzales: it’s like making this shift and now Now that I know that Rachel’s not feeling like she’s waiting around to work. I don’t feel guilty when I when I say hey I need another 30 minutes this afternoon to just finish up some stuff.

Rachel Gonzales: Right, because there was that tug of war before where it was like, well, if you’re working, then I’m not. And I, you know, when am I going to be able to fit that thing in? So now that that’s been alleviated in so, so many places really in all the places that I was doing, um, all these things during the time that you would need to work, um, have been alleviated.

So I’ve been able to totally say, yeah, just go do it. How’s that made you feel having a little bit more time

Avram Gonzales: Oh, it’s great. Again, it’s like all this guilt free stuff, and then I feel like I’m on mission, and, you know, I am doing what I promised my spouse that I would do. So that also feels really good to feel like, yeah, we are moving now in all the places that I said that we can and that we will. And then I’m able to do it, be in control, and make it happen.

Rachel Gonzales: I wanted to ask you, you know, we talked about how, um, how we. We’ve phased me out of BNI so I’m no longer there and you can listen to that podcast there’s tons of stuff that we talk about but how has it helped you in your focus in your BNI chapter because we’re still represented in BNI as a business. How’s it helped you to feel different about that.

Avram Gonzales: Well, I am very good at this method of generating referrals. And I’m very good at finding referrals for other people. I’m very good at training on all the things help people to find more referrals. It really is one of my happy places. And so that’s, it’s one of the other areas where I was feeling held back.

Like I couldn’t dump in all the way. I felt like some of the activities that are required to make that work, that it was going to be unfair to you, to our family and to the business to be taking extra time doing that when there were other things that were not getting served.

Rachel Gonzales: Sure. So you’ve offloaded some of those things that were requiring your time, then you’re able to put more time I think you’re putting, I think like,

Avram Gonzales: Double,

Rachel Gonzales: I would say double. Absolutely. So you’re able to actually make that avenue work better for us. So really reorienting our time and giving me ownership of the household where I want to be.

I am so excited This is where I’ve always wanted to be. And then giving you ownership of the busine
ss. I think you’re also super excited and you’re like a little bit more maybe centered and, and, energetic about it, and excited about your days, as opposed to, like you said, feeling held back. I have felt held back by the business, so vice versa.

No offense meant, that’s how we felt. But I think that owning up to it, being honest about it, finding a solution, saying yes to things and no to things, and moving on. Oh gosh, it feels great.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. I think that it’s very hard to both be working. In the business, because that’s just where we’re at. Some aspects were out, but a lot we’re still in. So working in the business, both you and your spouse and raising a family is impossible unless you’ve got full time, uh, care for your kid, your kids. And

Rachel Gonzales: but I wanted to raise our, I want, I wanna be there to know why he’s saying the word legendary. Is that from a book or a movie or a show? What is that? You know, I wanna know those things. that’s really precious to me.

Avram Gonzales: And I think what we were doing and why we were so frustrated is we were coming up against what is essentially an impossible ask of ourselves.

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely. And also, and that expectation could have been from outward sources, like while they’re doing it or they’re doing it, we, you know, comparison is the thief of happiness. If we’re comparing ourselves to somebody else and the only reason why we’re doing that thing is because somebody else is doing it, or we perceive that somebody else is doing it.

We’re doing our ourself a disservice.

Avram Gonzales: The aha moment for me, and we’ll wrap here. I was, I was watching a clip from diary of a CEO and Steven, the host of that show was interviewing somebody and the gentleman there shared what he and his wife have been doing for the last 20, 25 years. They look at their professional careers as seasons and the communication they have with each other is like, okay.

Okay. Is this my all in season, or is this your all in season? And I don’t remember the exact words they used, but they recognized that only one person’s professional role can be given a primary level of, of energy and, yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: I love that.

Avram Gonzales: And, and that the other person is going to be primarily focused on family and everything else during that time.

You can’t have both people having a, I think the word he used was, big job.

Rachel Gonzales: yeah.

Avram Gonzales: At the same same time because it just doesn’t work if unless you have full time care and then we discussed, that’s just not the journey that we’re on and what we want. Right. So I think that’s just kind of where we’ve ended up as being, is like letting go of the expectation that we could both do it in the business and perform at, at what we have seen before as a hundred percent.

Our, our a hundred percent is not the same anymore.

Rachel Gonzales: Right, well, the a hundred percent is allowing that person to have their role in the business. My, my contribution to you in the business is letting you be in the business and have no regrets, not feeling like you are needed anywhere else. And for you, same thing, you are in the business and not resenting me for being outside of it in our household.

So you know, that’s, those are two things that go hand in hand. And you know, being honest about what you want and how you’re going to get it. That’s really the conclusion of everything that we’ve been talking about is, you know, Are you really clear on what you want and willing to ask for it and make it happen?

Avram Gonzales: Another topic for another day is, man, if Rachel wasn’t super interested in a role with the family, I think the only other option would be full time child care.

Rachel Gonzales: Sure. Absolutely. And, but that’s not even a discussion that we’re going to have because that is nowhere within our future. I don’t want that at all. I love being here

Avram Gonzales: It’s an interesting journey. When we started Babies and Business, we didn’t think that we’d end up here.

Rachel Gonzales: That’s true. it’s true. But it’s also funny to see where we are as opposed to where we were, and how we felt then, but were we really connected to how we felt, and the eventuality of what it would look like now, and there’s so many things that change, and change how we see, perceive, feel.

Avram Gonzales: and all the things. So we’re allowed to change. I think that’s what I’m trying to say is you’re allowed to change, you’re allowed to want something different, speak it, say it to your partner, have discussions about it, have open discussions. Be realistic. I mean, it’s taken us two years to get to this point where it’s like, you know what? This actually isn’t working the way that we’re trying to make it work.

Rachel Gonzales: Correct. There’s just, there was just so much anxiety. And you know, we have a question for you.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: What is your primary role in your family? That could be supporting the family in the family side, or it could be working in the business, the business that you have supporting your family on the financial side.

Avram Gonzales: Let us know, connect with us online, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Tik TOK. What’s your primary role in your family? Look for that post comment. We’d love to hear from you. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions, you can email us at hello@babiesandbiz.com. We’d love to hear from you. We’re also looking for those five star reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

So if you haven’t done that yet, please go in there and do that and let other people know how bad ass the Babies and Business Podcast really is with that. We appreciate you for listening in. We’ll catch you on the next one.

Rachel Gonzales: Bye for now.