Avram and Rachel talk about the value of leading with your strengths. They share a pretty comical story that clearly demonstrated to them that they do not have the same strengths—but how that’s a good thing. One of their favorite tools for identifying strengths is the Clifton Strengths Finder Test. It’s been a catalyst for growth for their business team, and also so incredibly helpful in their marriage.

Show notes

2:30 Avram shared a real-life example of being in the “wrong seat”

4:20 Intro to leading with your strengths + Clifton Strengths Finder

5:57 Avram and Rachel share how in their case, opposites attract!

7:00 A+R get into the nitty gritty of what their strengths are

8:30 Avram talks about how it feels to acknowledge that you’re not good at something

10:36 What you think sucks, someone else will love. How this plays into the biz…

14:08 What happens when you try flipping the roles to lead with your strengths

15:33 How can you love your partner (and yourself!) better by letting go of expectations

Mentions & Resources

Clifton Strengths Finder (tool/resource)

Episode Transcription

Below, you will find a transcript of this entire podcast episode. Enjoy!

Avram Gonzales: Hello, and welcome to the Babies and Business Podcast. This is your host, Avram Gonzales, joined by my fabulous wife and wonderful co-host, Ms. Rachel Gonzales. Rachel, how are you?

Rachel Gonzales: I’m doing well.

Avram Gonzales: She’s like, You asked me this a while ago when I got home, and not much has changed, but look, a lot can change with baby in the house.

Today’s topic is something that’s really near and dear to our hearts and something I think that’s allowed us to find a lot of fulfillment and joy in our relationships as well as, In our business, right, Working with people, working with clients, uh, working with team members, Harmony is, uh, very important.

And so today’s topic is all about leading with your strengths and empowering your partners and team members. Rachel, why are you excited about this? I know there’s some reasons why we were so pumped to share about this today.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You know, so many reasons, but, the one that’s just really, um, awesome to me is, is how it has really, um, strengthened our relationship just in the sense of, you know, if you’re good at something, let that person do that thing that they’re good at and don’t judge them for not being good at everything because no one is good at everything.

That’s one of the things that just really I love about this topic. I think we have a good story to kick this off and what it really means to let people live in their strengths. That’s, that’s what we’re gonna kind of rally around during this episode today and, and what we’re gonna empower you to do is, is the same.

Avram Gonzales: This story I think is gonna illustrate a lot. I didn’t tell Rachel we’re gonna tell this one today, but before we talk about. The test that changed our lives and how to really figure out what your strengths are. I wanna give you an example of what it looks like when you’re not living in your strength, when you’re literally in the wrong seat.

So Rachel and I, I’m not gonna go into all the details of this. One thing that we do and used to do for our advertising agency, but I’ll tell you this, it involved getting. This tiny little jeep that Rachel owns, driving around the city and taking photographs and of specific landmarks. Okay. So, uh, this particular time I was the one in the driver’s seat, right?

Yeah. That’s where we started. I started in the driver’s seat.

Rachel Gonzales: No, no. Yes, it was. I was in the driver’s seat. And you were the pilots. I,

Avram Gonzales: That’s what it was. That’s what it was. Yes. I was the co. So I’m in the co-pilot. I’ve got the camera and I got the clipboard and I got the phone doing all the directions and I am also telling Rachel where to drive.

Rachel Gonzales: It was terrible.

Avram Gonzales: It was a mess. How grumpy was I?

Rachel Gonzales: I was grumpy. You were grumpy. We were all grumpy.

Avram Gonzales: It was just like a real shit show. I’ll just be honest. So like nobody was happy about it and it was taking us forever to do the thing, which made it worse.

Rachel Gonzales: But we are not normally grumpy with each other so it should have been clue a lot earlier in the day.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. So what would we do? We literally pulled over. And Rachel on her, Let’s just, let’s be real upon Rachel’s insistence, we pulled over. She’s like, What do you think about me doing all this? This? I think I was just so caught up in that this should be my role navigating.

Rachel Gonzales: Well, you came up, you were like, But I have to take the pictures. Does that mean that I’m gonna be driving and taking the pictures? And I’m like, Yes, Avram. That’s exactly what it means.

Avram Gonzales: And I was just so stuck on this, right? And so we pull over, we literally switch seats. And then we had a freaking blast afterwards.

Rachel Gonzales: It wasn’t 10 minutes and I was less cranky. You were less cranky. and it was a lot shorter day from then on.

Avram Gonzales: It was like life lessons in this. And I think it’s the perfect segue for, you know, the rest of our discussion here about leading with your strengths. I think first you have to learn what your strengths are and, and we’ve had some great tools and mentors and things over the years experiences that have taught us and showed us where our strengths are, but nothing quite as powerful as the Clifton Strengths Finder test. This is one that we, we learned about from some friends and colleagues that we took, that we found incredibly insightful, and I know that you had taken another test before and felt differently about it, what it was it that you loved about Strength Finder?

Rachel Gonzales: I just love this test because it, while it is in the name strengths finder, uh, and it’s not gonna talk about all of the things that you’re bad at and that you need to get better at. That’s what I thought the other tests kind of did, was these are, it really just, these are the things that you should improve on, but it didn’t really highlight what you’re good at. And so you leave those tests. Oh my gosh. I am in a terrible place now. So it’s just really awful.

Avram Gonzales: Or you, Or you, like you learn about your personality a little bit, but then Yeah. How does that fit into the workplace,

Rachel Gonzales: Or It doesn’t, I mean not, Not like this test. Mm-hmm. , this test was truly amazing. And what’s interesting about the story that was just told is that sometimes we need to be reminded of our strengths by somebody else because we just can see it.

Avram Gonzales: Man. That’s great. I’m gonna just leave that sentence there for that to sink in.

Needs No, no more explanation. There was something else I was gonna mention about, Oh, I thought you were gonna say about the story was that the story just showed literally how oppo site we were , that when we switched places, everything was so much better. That’s actually what came out of our strength finder as well.

Rachel Gonzales: Oh yeah. And I just, I just have to say one more thing about that story.

Avram Gonzales: Maybe we’ll throw it in the show notes, uh, the picture of my strength finder versus Rachel’s, and you’ll see how opposite they are. So that day it was so interest. that. Okay. So he was giving me directions and he’s like, Oh, that was the turn back there.

Rachel Gonzales: I’m like, Avram. We’re gonna be spending like way more miles. It’s gonna take way longer. You gotta give it to me earlier, dude. . And then, and then when I give him directions, I’m like, Okay, it’s gonna be the third left on your, up here on your, um, uh, the street, the third left. We’re gonna turn there or it’s gonna be on your right.

Or, you know, like crazy specific. I’m gonna give you like even landmarks. And it was very difficult. So I was driving and it was just, oh, it was just awful. So, . Terrible day. Great outcome. lot learned .

Avram Gonzales: Yes. So the, I think for, for examples it’s like, it might be helpful, maybe not. Nah, I don’t know. Just say it might be helpful to share what our strengths were, but I, Let me give you, let me give you the recap, friends.

Here’s what, here’s what our strength finders said. It said Abram. You are great at coming up with the ideas and choosing the direction and like all of that . Okay. And the future. In the future. Okay. And then Rachel. Could give a shit about the future as, I mean, that’s, I I say it that just to be funny, but what you’re really interested in is coming up with solutions and solving the problem and bringing it to, to an end.

Yes. Like doing the thing. So,

Rachel Gonzales: and I, I have to say, you know, before this test, we, before we took this test, both of us felt bad about not being good at everything. And if something was, um, uh, if something was in our, like in our bucket to. Um, and we just didn’t have a strength for it. We really beat ourselves up about that.

Um, you know, so what it really taught us was don’t apologize for not being good at something. And I learned what my strengths were. I didn’t really know. What I, I mean, you can kind of know what you’re good at, but when you see it in a test, it’s like, Oh my gosh. Yes. Absolutely. That is exactly how I feel. I found it to be very true for

myself.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. So if we were to break this down into like three digestible chunks that you could take out of this episode, that would be the first one. Yeah. Don’t apologize for not being good at something and the, the reality. You just can’t be good at it all. Yeah, I’m, I make a lot of jokes about, and I make video game metaphors and stuff that, you know, you’re, you’re only born with so many points to your character, which is you, and they’re gonna be a range, a certain way.

So you really have to lean into those strengths. And if you understand what yours are, what your partners are, you don’t apologize. Like, here’s the thing, I felt guilty for a long time that I wouldn’t finish projects the same way as other people, and I beat myself up about it. But here’s the, here’s the deal.

Nobody comes up with ideas like I. That is a fact, right? And so it’s like we’re all built to be different. So let’s just lean into that. If, if we spend less time judging ourselves, we spend more time living in our strengths and being our brilliance. Yeah. So the second thing we wanted to share with you was that what you think sucks.

Somebody else will love .

Let’s talk about that Rach.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. You know, uh, the, Well, I will just say it out. , I do the things that Arum thinks sucks , and I love them. I’m in heaven. I love the admin side of the business. I love the numbers, I love the planning when it comes to numbers , um, but it’s just so wonderful when you can really own that.

and have that conversation and feel free to, you know, sometimes we feel like we can’t hire somebody or we can’t ask someone to do something because we think that it sucks to them just as bad as it sucks to us.

Avram Gonzales: And that’s not so, how would I put them with that burden?

Rachel Gonzales: Yes, yes. Mm-hmm. . But, and so sometimes I have to remind Avram, he’s like, you know, we’ll get away from, um, delegating properly.

Like there’s something in a. On his plate that I’m not aware of. He hasn’t told me about it because he feels like he’s gonna burden me. I’m like, a Avram, just forward it to me, I’ll get it done. He forwards it to me and it’s done before it’s forwarded. I’ve been languishing over it for like two weeks, you know, and, and if he would just get it to me, it would be done and then he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore.

So, you know, I think it also teaches us expediency in don’t wait too long to ask for help because you think someone else doesn’t wanna take that. Yeah, man.

Avram Gonzales: If there’s one thing that entrepreneurship and parenthood teaches you or shows you, it’s like that hard look in the mirror, you. Absolutely. And being confronted with things that maybe you’ve been feeling guilty about or not wanting to face.

And it’s another great lesson for that. So first one was, don’t apologize for being good at something. Second one was, What you think sucks is something the other person might actually love. So again, there’s a team member that you’ve got that can do the thing. There’s a family member or a friend that can help you out with some baby stuff.

Um, there’s just so many opportunities and possibilities. The last thing we wanted to do was like tell a little short story about. Something that, I don’t wanna make it a thing, but it’s like, here’s the deal in life, we have a lot of like fixed roles. Uh, we have a lot of what you could even call gender roles, the things that traditionally one person or the other has done.

And I wanna talk about that for a second and show you something about our relationship that’s just, I think hilarious, but that we have to practice every day. And it kind of piggybacks off the other stuff we talked about. And so in short, Rachel is the Teris champion. Okay. She’s also the one that’s like very good and very fast at stuff.

Before the baby was born, she would, She was so fast. She’s still fast. She was so, but she was moving at such a speed that I Could you not, She would, I would hear her hit the walls from time to time because she would turn a corner too quick in the house. , she,

Rachel Gonzales: It’s true. Or, and then we would be showering and he’d be like, Rach, where can you get that bruise?

Avram Gonzales: She like ran into stuff cuz she’s moving so fast. So, So I think traditionally people would look at it and say, Okay, you’re getting ready to leave the house. What should dad do? Dad should go get all of this stuff right? Dad should go get all the stuff while mom comforts baby, and mom

Rachel Gonzales: needs to get mad because dad isn’t doing it fast enough or good enough, or getting all the.

Avram Gonzales: Right.

Rachel Gonzales: Not that it’s that way, but sometimes it feels that way.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, correct. And you know, if there’s one thing that just gets me pretty flustered, it’s being under pressure. What feels like timed and ah man, just, I just don’t, I just don’t do good with it. So what we did is the same. We just think back to the Jeep thing all the time.

We just flip the rolls. I’ve got the baby and sudden. We’re in the car and we’re on the way, and it’s like, well, that’s what it’s like to live in and lead, lead with, and lean into your strengths. Life’s better. You know, the the thing is, is like, I think we spend a lot of time trying to decide what is even, Yeah.

And what is equal.

Rachel Gonzales: Or having the word should, like, I should be able to do this, or you should be able to do. Mm. Instead of being like, Okay, what works for us?

Avram Gonzales: You have to be pragmatic, and I think that’s the piece that comes out of all of this. It’s like, well, do you wanna survive the trials of running a business and having a newborn baby?

Well, yes, of course you do. In parenting, yes, of course you do. Well, there are certain things that are gonna help you get there. And sometimes it’s like dropping your pride or the guilt or we’ve talked about so many different things today that are just getting in your way of living this life that’s really possible when you, when you lead with your strengths.

Rachel Gonzales: And I just think that, you know, this test has helped us, uh, to really just see each other for who we are. Through our strengths instead of, Oh my gosh, Avram, you just have so many weaknesses. Oh, we love each other despite our weaknesses, despite all these different things. Not, and it’s not even a chore to love each other, you know?

Um, but sometimes when we focus, not even sometimes when we focus on strengths, then we’re able to really show up more genuinely as ourselves. Mm, and to love our partner. as genuinely as we would like to instead of having resentment because we have expectations that haven’t been met because we’re, we have unrealistic expectations of our spouses that like you, you know, running around, getting things ready for the car to get us out the door.

Unrealistic expectation to think that you could do it or would be happy to do it and have the same demeanor as me when it’s done, you know, just cuz it’s not your strength and that’s, .

Avram Gonzales: Well, I think of no better place than to wrap things up in today’s episode. Very profound words. If you like today’s episode, and if you haven’t already, I mean, gosh, what are you waiting for?

Just subscribe already, Darnit, leave us a review on iTunes so more people can find out about the podcast. And. Share it with a friend. Wouldn’t that be cool? More people at the Babies and Business Podcast Party. Woo woo. Hey, we’re coming soon with some new episodes. If you’ve got suggestions for topics, please send them our way.

Connect with us online on our website, babiesandbiz.com, on social media. You can find us on all the major platforms. Check out the show notes. We’re gonna copy some of those hilarious findings we talked about today from the episode. You can find all that stuff out our website. We’ll catch you on the flip side.

Have a good one.

Rachel Gonzales: Have a great one.