In this informative and heartfelt episode, Avram and Rachel Gonzales discuss the importance of introspection and learning from one’s experiences in their entrepreneurial journey. They share personal stories of overcoming challenges and extracting wisdom from both their successes and failures in business and life. The duo emphasizes how intentional reflection has shaped their goals, improved their familial relationships, and directly influenced the development of their business. Further, they underline the necessity of listening to one’s intuition and learning from one’s past experiences to drive future success. They also share about striking a balance between personal and professional life while working closely with family and maintaining a positive perspective, even in the face of challenges.

Show Notes

[02:30] Your greatest source of unrealized revenue

[04:44] Strategies for extracting ‘the good’ from difficult experiences

[08:41] Rewriting the narrative of your past into a powerful present

[12:48] How naturally introspective people can undervalue (or completely miss) life’s lessons

[15:42] Rachel shares one of the biggest wins their agency had this year

Mentions & Resources

Not the Same Boring Goal Setting Conversation – Podcast Episode

Profit First – Book by Mike Micalowicz

Frogger – The Old Arcade Game

Episode Transcription

Below you will find a transcript of this entire podcast episode. Enjoy!

Avram Gonzales: We’re back. It’s a new year here at the Babies and Business podcast. Can you believe it’s January?

Rachel Gonzales: I can. 

Avram Gonzales: It’s funny, actually, because we’re recording this at the end of November for a premiere in January, but, uh, you wouldn’t know that if we didn’t tell you. 

Rachel Gonzales: It’s true.

Avram Gonzales: Anyway, we’re back. It’s Avram and Rachel and we’re excited for this episode and to share with you today the value of what you’ve experienced and looking back and taking some time to look back and extract all the learnings, gratitude, and the goodness that you’ve already been through. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Um, we We don’t do enough of that on the on the positive side. I think we as entrepreneurs, we can beat ourselves up and see all the things that we didn’t accomplish or whatever that might be. Ah, I won’t speak for everybody.

I’ll speak for myself. I do that. So I tend to see all the places that I failed. So I make it an intention for myself to reflect on those things that I did well because doing things well propels you to do things even more. Even more things better and, uh, just improves. So I think that’s, I think it’s important when we keep that perspective for myself, um, to, to think of all the things that I did well, but then pick maybe one thing that I could improve.

But not look at everything! So, so keep it simple. 

Avram Gonzales: We’re also so focused on the future. And I imagine if you’re like, we have been so much in the past, that time between Christmas and New Year’s, there was a lot of time and focus about the next year. 

Rachel Gonzales: Correct. 

Avram Gonzales: So you’ve spent some time. You’ve written down your goals.

Maybe you listened to the goal setting podcast that we did a couple weeks ago. And you’ve got all that figured out. You know where you’re headed. But Rachel said this thing to me the other day and it’s the inspiration for the podcast today. She said, you know, if we don’t take the time to reflect, it’s like spending money and then never realizing a return on it.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, 

Avram Gonzales: because you’re spending that time You went through and experienced something, but if there wasn’t reflection that was done immediately after you missed an opportunity And even so as time goes on you might reflect on something again later and extract something different I think that’s really what we’re talking about here today 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, you know, just over the time that we’ve been recording these podcasts, we’ve learned so much.

We’ve learned about different clients that we’ve had. We’ve learned about money stuff, about babies and having the sleep training stuff. There’s so much stuff, but on the flip side in our business, same thing is going on. We are also learning how to have a baby, have him at our home and working at the same time.

So, you know, being able to reflect over the things that we’ve accomplished is so motivational. I love to see all the money things that we’ve done, how we’ve accomplished things with our money. When we’ve like, we, we totally Profit First did our business and that felt really good. It was such an accomplishment and I mean, what has that done?

Just to give an idea, it has helped us to have way less stress on the personal side because and we’ve talked about this in different episodes where um, we knew that we know that we can take out the money from our business and our business isn’t going to fall apart because we took money out to take care of ourselves as as income, you know.

So that’s a huge accomplishment, um, but that’s just one of the things that we’ve done. So reflecting is, we, oh, 

Avram Gonzales: well, I got something, I got something. You mentioned this the other day. We don’t get awards. We don’t get medals and we don’t really get any kind of recognition for running a business. And that’s not the reason that you made the busin ess.

You know, you don’t need the pat on the back, but man, it sure does feel good when you do acknowledge and recognize what went well. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Cause if you always feel like everything is a slog and that you’re never getting ground, gaining ground, then what is the motivation to keep going? You know, I mean, gosh, 

Avram Gonzales: what are some ways that you’re acknowledging things that happened in 2023. 

Rachel Gonzales: You know, I, um, I look back and I see so much personal growth for myself. And I’m just really proud of the fact that I was, I was faced with some really difficult situations and I sought help to get me through it, and then I also had you to help get me through it. But, uh, seeing where I have grown, um, on the personal side, it’s actually mostly been for me, because that’s a lot of what’s happened for me.

Avram Gonzales: Well, and then I know that going through it, like, let’s just, let’s make it real for our listeners. You were really struggling with When it all came to a head was when we got a sleep trainer. Right, so you were really trying to do your best to be a quote, good mom. To live up to this standard that has been set by others and even, you know, your mom.

Rachel Gonzales: An impossible standard. 

Avram Gonzales: An impossible standard, right? When you were really just like examining somebody else’s facade. Thinking that it was real but you weren’t, you never knew about the hurt and the struggle that was beneath it. 

Rachel Gonzales: Right. 

Avram Gonzales: You just see what it looks like on the outside and think, man. I am not doing it like that, and I am, I am, I’m failing, 

Rachel Gonzales: absolutely, 

Avram Gonzales: right?

So, like, that’s what was going on. I think it was pretty hard to find reflection in that moment to acknowledge the personal growth. Here we are, like, it’s seven months, eight months since that time. 

Rachel Gonzales: Oh, there was no reflecting going on then. Absolutely not. That was just survival then. And yes, absolutely. So looking back, being very specific about it. I, I was very close to, I mean, there were suicidal thoughts mixed in there and you rescued me. You made that call and I was very upset with you. When you do that with the sleep trainer, but it truly changed my life Sleep is so important and I was able to sleep. So Being able to have someone see that I needed something and getting that taken care of for me. Just the sleep training has been Incredible, but also just going through therapy too. That was so a lot of personal growth because I’ve had a lot of, um, I’ve had a lot of, uh, family trauma, a lot of stuff. Both of my parents passed and, uh, they left a lot, they left a trail of hurt behind them. And I’ve been sorting through that and reconnecting with siblings and, um, uh, being really, really specific about connecting with Lincoln.

Um, and helping him feel loved and something that I didn’t feel. So I’m, I’m trying to, instead of focusing on giving him what I didn’t have, just giving him what I want to give him. Mmm. Because I think that’s a totally different point of view and we can we can pass over a lot of things when we just want to do better than our parents did or not do what they did because we’re really not focusing on that intentional giving him what we want. So 

Avram Gonzales: I think yeah, I think the opportunities are really in some of the hardest things that we endured most recently right because When you have perspective and you’re able to look back, you’re not so in that situation as you were. It kind of rewrites the script also. It kind of rewrites the history as you remember it of what you were going through.

It gives you a more positive narrative about your overall experience. And it’s not that everything has to be positive, but life sure is a lot easier when you can see the bright side of things and still acknowledge that there was some screwed up in this behind it. 

Rachel Gonzales: Well, I think sometimes, you know, reflecting from the distance that we’re reflecting at the end of the year and it was, it was about April that all this happened.

Um, it’s kind of like you can look at yourself and you’re a different person. Like it’s somebody else that you’re actually scrutinizing instead. And you can actually give that person grace like, wow, they were doing the best that they could. But in the moment, I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t feel like I was doing the best that I could.

I felt like a failure. I felt like a failure all the time, but when I really, when I really reflect on how I feel and like what I was doing, I was trying to meet somebody else’s standards. And that came up already when you were talking about that, that when I was, when I was actually brought back to reality and my therapist helped me with this.

Another huge thing was not not pumping anymore. I was pumping for so long. Um, just all these hurdles with being a mom and, uh, all these different beliefs that I was given that I don’t actually believe. So there was a lot of like questioning and soul searching and finding, and that was my journey. So I’d love to hear about your journey in, in this year being a dad and how reflecting now on what we’ve gone through, how it’s helped us.

Like, what are we going to do differently this year? 

Avram Gonzales: Well, I’ll be honest. I am somebody who, because I grew up as an only child, it was always me and my thoughts. It was me and my thoughts, and then my parents. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: Right? So when they would go to bed, or we’d finish the day, or I just had time to myself, it was me and my thoughts.

So I’ve always been a very reflective Introspective type person there was always the space and the opportunity to do that what I think I have failed to do more frequently is spending some intentional time looking back when I’m a ways out from the situation. 

Rachel Gonzales: Sure. 

Avram Gonzales: Very good at finding the brighter side of things or the opportunity in the setback when I’m going through it and I’m in the moment because that’s just I also think I, how are wired as entrepreneurs too, it’s like, you just can’t let anything stop you.

And I think that can be a curse at times, but the blessing of it is that you, you do always see a future and a way forward. So I think the part for me that I’m coming around to and that you fostered in me is bringing some structure and some greater intentionality around these things where now that you’re in my life and you have certain interests in a way of viewing the world.

I’m marrying that with how I’ve always done it. < /span>

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: And it’s like, okay, well now let’s actually set aside the time to do that and look at some of these really important moments that occurred in the last year and having a conversation about them. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: So now it’s not just me and my thoughts. It’s me my thoughts you 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, 

Avram Gonzales: and Lincoln’s pretty much pre verbal at this point.

He’s not a part of that conversation Right, but I think that’s how it’s starting to change and evolve with me as a result of being together and then running the business together. I think it’s very easy to reflect on the business side of things. That’s always come naturally and Sort of forgetting or brushing under the rug some of the personal.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah 

Avram Gonzales: side of it. And so I think that’s just where things are headed right now and even having this conversation. It’s like well you want to know what this episode is doing for us It’s making this part even more important. Like I mentioned we’re recording this in November. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: I think without this episode, we wouldn’t have the same structured reflection that we’re already having as a result of recording this podcast. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah, well, and I think, you know, like the, the things that we’ve talked about, the, um, you know, being intentional. I think that’s really served us well this last year. Because even during those hard times, we had the presence of mind to talk about like, Okay, so how are we going to get work done?

Okay, so on Wednesdays when I go out to my networking event, you need to be home with Lincoln and not do any work. No work is expected of you. And then on Thursdays, when you go out and you do networking, same thing for me. No work expected. Certain things like that, I, you know, reflecting on it, I love those times that I get with Lincoln.

Avram Gonzales: Same. 

Rachel Gonzales: Uninterrupted, can have all the time in the world. He wants to play outside all day. Let’s go play outside all day. Maybe I’ll rake some leaves and he’ll have fun helping me. But really, in reality, we don’t need to get anything done. We just need to be present. So I, I think that’s one of my favorite things that we’ve accomplished this year is that during all the hard times, we’ve tried to make each other priorities.

We’ve tried to make Lincoln the priority as well. Our business, we’ve had different priorities, but all for different reasons, but we’ve also kept it top of mind too. Make the things that matter happen. 

Avram Gonzales: Right. We’ve stepped back from a lot of things also that weren’t working for us, and weren’t really in alignment with where we were, we were wanting to go.

And I think that’s also one of the big things that comes out of reflection, is the stripping down. Of what no longer serves or matters to you. 

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Well, and you know, something else that we’ve done in our business this year is we got really, really, really clear with reporting. We have some really great ways of reporting what we’re doing for our clients in really, really specific ways.

And I feel like that really translates into, into our life as well. Um, but. We’re able to get specific with our clients, and I think that’s super important when we look back and we can see, you know, we’re helping our clients achieve their goals, and we’re achieving our goals. We want transparency with our clients, um, but it took some time to get those things in place, and we weren’t beating ourselves up about it the whole time, but looking back, it’s those successes are going to lead to other successes that we can have happy clients and retain them 

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, I didn’t like how every month when we would start bringing all the reporting together to share with a client how things were going that we didn’t have 

Rachel Gonzales: It was flimsy.

Avram Gonzales: It was it felt flimsy. I knew I knew That we were bringing it 

Rachel Gonzales: right, 

Avram Gonzales: but there were just certain things We weren’t able to measure that we now have technology and software that can do that that we found we’ve integrated that is now so transparent and the it’s tracking the right information that a client cares about it’s totally changed our confidence around what we do because I feel like and I’m pretty sure we’re doing a great job to oh I know we’re doing a great job and any pushback that a client will ever have on us moving forward this is going to be shut down because now I can see exactly what’s what’s going on 

Rachel Gonzales: Well, and we can prove the most important thing for them and that’s return on their investment.

Avram Gonzales: That’s right 

Rachel Gonzales: If they’re spending money with us, they should be getting that money Multiplied 

Avram Gonzales: that’s right 

Rachel Gonzales: over and over again. And uh, you know just seeing all the things that we’ve been able to accomplish this year, even though we’ve had all these different things come up and we had Lincoln last year and then it was that whole transition period.

Um, you know, just having the presence of mind and kind of reflecting as you go. And I don’t, I don’t know. Looking at the things that are working, maybe it was this last month or we had a really rough time or it was frustrating and then we’re able to change and pivot things as we go. And that’s the beauty of reflecting that it doesn’t have to be at the end of the year and it’s way more beneficial when it isn’t just at the end of the year.

It’s so helpful when you can do it on the spot and have that presence of mind and really have that that goal of like closeness or connectedness or whatever that is that you’re going for in your family, especially if you’re working with your spouse and you have your child at home. That’s not an uncommon thing with entrepreneurs they want that time with their kids and they aren’t putting them in daycare or whatever that whatever other kind of care there might be, but That’s how I feel about reflecting. 

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, I’ve got one little example to share that I think will tie a good bow on this episode. And it was this conversation I had with an old mentor about the game Frogger.

And I think how it plays in with reflecting and the sort of theme of today with, well, if you’re spending the time and you’re not, uh, reflecting back on it and getting something more out of it, like, you’re just, you’re just wasting away, right? The, the context of the conversation that we had about Frogger was, well, If you interviewed only the frogs that made it across the road and across the lily pads and then made it to the end, and you asked them, Why were you so successful?

How did you make it across the road? They’re going to give you an answer, and it’s their best attempt at an answer of what they did. Well, I dodged left, and then I went back, and I played it a little bit patiently, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I got to the end. That answer will only serve you so far, because what that frog didn’t give you are all of the things that didn’t work.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. 

Avram Gonzales: In fact, it would be more beneficial to talk to all the frogs that got run over. about what didn’t work in order to chart your course forward. And I think that’s kind of what we’re talking about here. The opportunity really is in the things that maybe didn’t totally go your way for you to get the second chance to examine them and extract something beautiful every time.

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely. And I think that, uh, you know, as we go through life, I I would just encourage everybody here listening to not let all of the loud, loud, loud, loud voices come out and, and override your own voice and your intuition. No matter what it is, we all have our intuition for a reason when it comes to our spouse and having conversations with them or our children or our business, whatever that is.

I invite all of you to listen to that and not let the other voices drown it out because it is so easy to let all of them drown it out. So take the time to reflect and let Let, let those conversations with yourself or your spouse be between you and, and don’t let all of the other pressures and all of the other things and standards hold you back from actually accomplishing those things that you’re looking to have.

You know as you’re reflecting. 

Avram Gonzales: And with that we round out today’s episode Make sure that you check out the show notes we’re linking up to previous podcasts and things mentioned today books other resources and over at BabiesAndBiz.com. Big ask for you right now. We’ve been talking about it last few episodes.

We would so appreciate you going to Apple Podcasts, rating this podcast five stars, and then leaving some short feedback about what you love and appreciate most about it. Folks that are looking for new things to listen to and enjoy, they look at those reviews, and that helps them make the decision to tune in.

You know, once they listen, they’re going to be hooked, right? Just like you. We appreciate all your support. Please go ahead and do that. That’ll make our day. It’ll make the podcast’s way into more entrepreneurs hands that are looking to find their own way. That’s it from us. Avram and Rachel Gonzales signing out.

Find us on social media @babiesandbizpod. Join the conversation and we’ll catch you on the next one. 

Rachel Gonzales: Bye for now. ​