In this episode of the Babies and Business Podcast, hosts Avram and Rachel discuss the often-overlooked signs of overwhelm among entrepreneur parents. They share their personal experiences and outline four key signs of overwhelm: a defeatist attitude, blowing things out of proportion, being caught up in urgent tasks, and always being in a hurry. The episode also highlights practical strategies to manage and mitigate overwhelm, including prioritizing important tasks, not over-planning the day, and prioritizing self-care. This episode provides a comprehensive resource for entrepreneur parents to recognize and address their overwhelm.

Show notes:

[08:04] The four signs of overwhelm

[09:51] How Rachel bails Avram out when he’s clearly overwhelmed but won’t admit it

[14:41] The #1 thing that’s zapping your energy, keeping you stuck in overwhelm

[21:39] 4 strategies to regain control while overwhelmed

[23:32] How to get back into momentum when you’ve lost it

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Mentions & Resources

E1 – Getting Ready for Baby When You’re Running a Business

The Fourth Trimester – Book

The Window of Tolerance – Concept

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Book

E33 – The Power Hour Experiment

Orangetheory

Episode Transcription

Below you will find a transcript of this entire podcast episode. Enjoy!

Avram Gonzales: The story as old as civilization itself, mom’s point of view versus dad’s point of view.

Avram Gonzales: We were talking about fun things that we could just riff on for podcasts. And this was one of those where we ended up having so many ideas. That it took some effort to break it down just to three topics that we could explore together.

Rachel Gonzales: And when we first talked about this, my number one is what we’re going to talk about first, today.

Avram Gonzales: So we thought this could possibly become a series we don’t know yet because of the number of ideas that we had. We chose three today, and we just know that we have specific points of view that are different. And when it comes to mom and dad, We are set up biologically to be different.

Rachel Gonzales: Yes, and our babies need that.

Avram Gonzales: And our babies need that. And the reason we’re talking about and the Babies and Business Podcast is because when it comes to being in business and raising a family together, everything becomes this examination of an exploration of the different points of view that inform how you’re raising your kid.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Like how you’re raising your kid is going to impact everything it’s gonna impact your relationship and your relationship is the number one thing that is powering your business.

Rachel Gonzales: Yes.

Avram Gonzales: That’s why this topic is a hot one and it’s important today, I think.

Rachel Gonzales: I agree. I think it’s very important also because some couples take it from a different tack and some of them simply outweigh the other and put their foot down and make the other person get in line. I’ve seen that in relationships. And I think that that’s so sad because I think that dad has something to offer kids that mom does not and vice versa. And while I don’t see it the same way as you do, I allow it to be just as much as, or just as important to you and to Lincoln and our other children.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. So let’s play, let’s explore, let’s get into three topics that we’ve got today. And, uh, yeah, I think share this with your partner, your spouse, maybe play a game, ask them some of the same questions and just see what you get

Rachel Gonzales: Or see if you have one that just comes right to the top of your mind when you think mom versus dad, or mom’s point of view versus the dad’s point of view.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: There will probably be one that comes up very, very clearly for you.

Avram Gonzales: And that one for us was what

Rachel Gonzales: danger.

Avram Gonzales: What do you mean danger?

Rachel Gonzales: I mean, like how you let Lincoln do things that could result in injury and you’re like, oh, he’s got this. That is what you say to me.

Avram Gonzales: I mean, give me an example.

Rachel Gonzales: Okay, so he’s on the coffee table.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: And he’s dancing.

Avram Gonzales: He likes to dance on the coffee table.

Rachel Gonzales: So his dancing is very faulty.

Avram Gonzales: It’s erratic.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. He’s like toppling sometimes I have seen him topple. And you are far away from him. You are not on the couch. You are not anywhere near there. You are looking at him. Observing him. And I’m like, Avram.

Avram Gonzales: What are you doing?

Rachel Gonzales: Go over there, please. He was like, he’s got this.

Avram Gonzales: Well, why do you feel so strongly about it?

Rachel Gonzales: I’ve seen it go on his head and hurt himself.

Avram Gonzales: And then what happen when he hurts himself.

Rachel Gonzales: He cries and he comes to me.

Avram Gonzales: It’s true. That’s true. He usually goes to you. But you know what happens when you’re not here, right.

Rachel Gonzales: Probably something very different.

Avram Gonzales: You know, so the table, right, we’re just crawling up on the table all the time. That’s the new thing, you know, I’m gonna get on the chair, then I’m going to get on the table. Right. And so the other day you were at a meeting or something, right? So he and I having lunch and he’s wanting, I’m guessing what it was is he was wanting to transition from one of the chairs to the other chair. I think is what happened.

Rachel Gonzales: Probably.

Avram Gonzales: And like he missed after whatever. So he fell down in between the two chairs. He fell down, fell on the ground and then was pretty upset about it. And then he was fine. Like he was so good. There was one day also, we were outside, and he fell down doing something. It wasn’t a big falls, less than the table, but he fell down. And so

Rachel Gonzales: Wait,correct yourself. He
did not fall from the table, he fell from the chair.

Avram Gonzales: He fell fro m the chair.

Rachel Gonzales: Okay.

Avram Gonzales: It’s just like two feet right. He’s outside. And he falls down for. Well, you weren’t home,

Rachel Gonzales: But I hope you’ve told me about it.

Avram Gonzales: I think I told you about it.

Rachel Gonzales: Okay let’s hear it.

Avram Gonzales: But he runs to go find you. Oh no. You know what? It was it wasn’t outside.

Avram Gonzales: I’m sorry. It was inside. We were taking a shower. He came in to join me in the shower because he’s so curious. Right.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: You weren’t home, he comes in and then he’s transitioning out and he slips. He slips out of the shower. You weren’t home. He goes crying. Mama mama. Right. So I’m just like quickly finishing my shower. Right.

Avram Gonzales: I go out to the living room, family room, where he went to try to find you. He’s playing with his toys. He, he just, he just forgot. He forgot that he was in discomfort to cry about it. He just forgot. What do you think about that?

Rachel Gonzales: I think that there’s no way that would happen with me.

Avram Gonzales: So.

Rachel Gonzales: And I’m okay with that. I’m okay with getting hurt on your watch. It’s not that I’m mad at you about any of those it’s that I feel differently about that in those situations, what would I have done differently? Well, I talked to Lincoln about edges all the time.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: He will say it, edges fall edges. He knows that he can fall from edges so he’s aware of them. . And I tried to prevent it, but I do think, as we’re talking about this, don’t get a big head about it. I do think that it is important that he does fall and that

Avram Gonzales: sure

Rachel Gonzales: he has the time and chance to have dangerous play and do those things that show him the boundaries, but I’m just not capable of letting that happen.

Avram Gonzales: Well, so I think what he gets is he gets that safety and that comfort in a certain way from you, right? It’s I felt, I know that there is nurturing and comfort I’m going to be okay.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right. And then I think what he gets from me in a little bit of just the watching and observing is the confidence in him. You know, to, to be brave, to try some different things out. But the thing I like where I draw the line is mortal danger, right.

Avram Gonzales: So I’m pretty, um, on edge when we’re doing things that are near the street.

Rachel Gonzales: Right.

Avram Gonzales: All right. Um, I’m on edge when he’s up on something, that’s something sharp. Oh. Oh, yeah. I’m on edge when, usually when there’s water present.

Rachel Gonzales: Yes.

Avram Gonzales: Slips.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: All right. That’s the story you just talked about, it’s a slip.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Um, But yeah, I think that’s that’s one where we’re just always, always handle a different, you know?

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: I’ll be honest, I push Rachel’s buttons every now and then just by being a little bit more aloof than I appear to actually be.

Rachel Gonzales: You can tell when I’m in present in the room, you’re like,

Avram Gonzales: just play it up a little bit. Get her.

Rachel Gonzales: It drives me crazy.

Avram Gonzales: The second thing that we see a little bit different is how we talk to and communicate with Lincoln.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Do you want me to go first this time? Well, I talked to him. It is not to say that you don’t, that you don’t do this. We totally both do this, but my whole perspective on how I talk with him is I want to treat him not like an adult per se. But like, but like that he’s not a baby or something that is,

Rachel Gonzales: he’s capable of understanding what you’re saying.

Avram Gonzales: That’s right. That’s right. I mean, I know where we’re a little bit different is a you know, I’m not super bent about teaching him a word like Gooch.

Rachel Gonzales: Wow. Yeah, that’s correct.

Rachel Gonzales: Well my approach to communication is, or talking with him is that I want to, I think about the things that he already knows, these concepts that he knows and understands, and I tried to help him see things from his vocabulary and his understanding.

Filler: Sure.

Rachel Gonzales: So. About a week ago ish. I think it was about a week ago, that we went outside and he was on his bike and this was the first time that he had taken his balance bike

Avram Gonzales: outside of the house

Rachel Gonzales: outside. And you had previously that day, taking him to the mailbox and coming back very upset because he was not done riding his bike.

Avram Gonzales: That’s right.

Rachel Gonzales: So then we went out later and he started in our neighborhood on the road and it was like, oh, I hope this does not continue because this, this cannot continue. We’ve got to create some really good habits. So I took him over and I said, here let’s go to the bicycle road. So I named the sidewalk the bicycle road. And he took to it.

Avram Gonzales: He did.

Rachel Gonzales: And now what does he ask for? Bicycle road.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, it means I want to go outside and go ride my bike.

Rachel Gonzales: And he knows where it is. He knows what it is. And then when he goes off towards the road where there’s rocks in between the road and the sidewalk, I’ll just say something like, oh,  Uh, rocks and then he knows, oh yeah, I probably don’t want to play in the rocks and I’ll go back. So it’s kind of like diversion or uh, distracting him with something else. And not really taking it with a full on approach of you need to do this, or you need to do that.

Avram Gonzales: See

Rachel Gonzales: trying to help him see and make decisions.

Avram Gonzales: And I think that’s actually where we kind of meet together.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right. So he gets this approach from you that’s a bit more fluid.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right. And then he will get an approach from me. That’s a bit more

Rachel Gonzales: this is what we’re going to,

Avram Gonzales: this is what we’re doing, like it’s a bit more affirm.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right. So like down at the mailbox, trying to get them to come back. You would have taken this approach,

Rachel Gonzales: right?

Avram Gonzales: Which is usually where I start.

Rachel Gonzales: Right.

Avram Gonzales: I start with some fluidity.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right. And see, well, this is not going anywhere like this.

Rachel Gonzales: Sure.

Avram Gonzales:
And, uh, so like that day I just, I just picked him up. I said hey, we’re going back.

Rachel Gonzales: That’s kind of how it has to.

Avram Gonzales: We’re going back. You know, um, instead of, Hey, do you want to come back with me? Like we tried that.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: We’re going so I picked him up. He was screaming. I grabbed the bike and I was like, sweet. I’m definitely that dad now. Right. I’m the dad that you see this got the screaming kid. It’s like just walking home with all the stuff. This is the first time.

Avram Gonzales: Yay. Milestone. You know, and I think that’s, um, that’s the type of communication that he can get from, from dad. Which is just like, no, we’re done.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: We’re done and.

Rachel Gonzales: Um, and, and what’s great is he needs both. I think he needs both.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. Well, that’s why we’re excited to talk about this whole thing is because. There’s so much benefit in having and seeing both perspectives. That is why the conversation so good and important.

Rachel Gonzales: Absolutely. Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Third thing we wanted to talk about I mean, unless you had more for that um, was around play.

Rachel Gonzales: Yes.

Avram Gonzales: And like, Mom’s point of view about play with the baby and how she approaches it versus dads.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah. Well, I, I think it’s interesting because play just kind of happens with me and him it’s a lot of tickling. It’s a lot of just um, asking him about his where’s your nose, where’s your elbow. Where’s all these different things and interacting with him in those kinds of ways. That’s how play begins and kind of goes throughout the day.

Rachel Gonzales: I tease him a lot, like. Um, I’ll miss name, a body part and then he’ll correct me. Or I’ll misname a stuffed animal and he’ll correct me. Um, we’ll read a book and just simple stuff, but it kind of comes in organically. So I don’t really make the effort to like, have that play. And for you I love seeing the way that you play with him. I just think it’s so special.

Rachel Gonzales: And I love when he asks for you.

Avram Gonzales: This is cute.

Rachel Gonzales: Something that we do  I’ve tried to foster his love for you so the way I do that is I I’ll say we love daddy. He’s so nice to us and it’s less about play, but I do think that it’s so important because then he’s, sometimes he’s not interested in touching you when he gets up from a nap.

Avram Gonzales: Which is hilarious.

Rachel Gonzales: You know. Different things. He gets up from his nap and he’s like, no, no, no, you can’t even look at him.

Avram Gonzales: I can’t even look at him sometimes he just doesn’t want it.

Rachel Gonzales: I’ll be like, well, give him knuckles. Can you give him knuckles and stuff like that? But the one thing that I think is the cutest thing about play, like playing with you, but it’s kind of a bridge over between you and me is that when you’ve gone to the gym or you’re out at meetings or something, he’ll, he kind of he’ll guess when you’re going to come home or I’ll tell him when you’re home and you’re coming in the house. And then he wants to hide he wants to hide so that you can see, he says, tickle daddy, hide tickle daddy.

Rachel Gonzales: Cause he knows that you’re going to come in and tickle him. And I just think that’s adorable.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, I was going to describe the way you described play with him, the same way.

Rachel Gonzales: Okay.

Avram Gonzales: Which is that it’s, it’s actually all the time.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: And it’s kind of layered through everything.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: And it’s just this playful nature with everything that you do.

Avram Gonzales: So it’s, you know, taking, putting on shoes and socks and turning it into a game.

Rachel Gonzales: Right. And not taking anything too seriously like

Avram Gonzales: mm.

Rachel Gonzales: I mean. Oh, gosh, toddlers could offend you if you’d let them.

Rachel Gonzales: Or you can take things personally.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah.

Rachel Gonzales: But, yeah, I love how you like, but you’re very physical with him. And when you play.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah, that’s, that’s a big difference.

Rachel Gonzales: That’s the one thing that I love about how you play with him and I think it’s very different for me. It could be the state that I’m in. That I’m almost going I’m going to have our baby in June. I am less interested in picking him up and throwing him and tossing him and putting him on the couch and things like that. But I love how you help. You also went to KidStrong and that’s a ICF form of play and connection. But you’re very physical with him when you play with him.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. I would say that, um, he and I it’s a little bit more structured in the sense of there is playtime and there’s also like we’re not playing right now. But I think he, he, uh, it sounds weird saying it like that. It’s because it’s not like, no, I can’t play right now, buddy. It’s not like that at all, but it’s like, we, we seem, he and I seem to have these times that we just engage all the time which is always in the evening.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Right.

Rachel Gonzales: He loves evening play with you.

Avram Gonzales: Right. Right. So like after dinner, before his bath and things, that’s usually like some rough and tumble time. You know, it’s the same thing with he and I in bath. Bathtime at night, which you lately it’s been me putting him down a lot for bath time and we engage bath time different. It’s like, if you listen to bath time, with Lincoln and Rachel versus me and him, it’s different.

Rachel Gonzales: Oh yeah.

Avram Gonzales: It was way more.

Rachel Gonzales: Different.

Avram Gonzales: The volume with you guys is way higher. Right. He and I it’s pretty mellow. Right. And then we get in the bedroom and, and then, uh, toss him around. There’s a lot of squealing.

Rachel Gonzales: Cute.

Avram Gonzales: Right.

Rachel Gonzales: I do get to hear that sometimes. I’ll turn the monitor on just so that I can hear you playing or reading. It’s really cute.

Avram Gonzales: And lately it’s as he’s become more more physical and just how he moves and gets around it’s been fun for me to engage him in more physical ways. So like, I don’t know if it was. Yeah, let’s scare. Right? Some of the stuff that we do now would have terrified him. Before, you know, like turning it upside down and stuff like that which he loves, but like the other day it’s like, I was helping him jump from the couch to the coffee table and then off the coffee table to the ground. Um, maybe not mom’s favorite activity to be practicing, um, you know, Uh, but it was supervised.

Avram Gonzales: It was supervised. And, uh,

Avram Gonzales: That’s just not something that he and I were able to do six months ago.

Rachel Gonzales: Correct? Yeah. one is cool because his interests have changed and they change so frequently. Yeah. I
love that.

Avram Gonzales: So, these are just three of the things that we see differently that, you know, come together and unique way that I think most entrepreneur parents can relate to you both have this yin and yang, hopefully where there’s this sort of flowing balance that occurs over time and how you raise your child.

Avram Gonzales: That’s the purpose we had in exploring this today and hopefully you had a, a chuckle, a good laugh here and there. Maybe you could see you and your spouse and some of this. We’d love to hear about it. We have an email and you can hit us up hello@babiesandbiz.com. There’s also a contact form on our website, you could fill that out. We get all those messages sent to our emails. We want to know what’s something that you and your partner see differently that we could maybe discuss in the podcast too.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Yeah. We’d love to hear it. So send those things our way. We are still looking for more five star reviews on Apple Podcast. Please get on there, put that five star rating, write something about what you got out of this podcast. And if you can think of another entrepreneur couple who sees very differently on some of these topics I think you should send this to them. Right. Poke the bear a little bit. It could be found to stir the pot.

Rachel Gonzales: Yeah.

Avram Gonzales: Send it over to them and share it with that entrepreneur and hopefully we’ll get to catch you on a future episode. So, with that we appreciate you listening in.

Rachel Gonzales: Bye for now.