The Power of Choosing How You Spend Your Time and Energy

Have you ever come home from spending time with someone and felt completely drained, like all your energy had been zapped away? I have. There have been so many moments when I’ve walked away from an interaction thinking, “Why did I even agree to that?” It’s a tough realization, but as a parent and entrepreneur, I’ve understood it deeply: being intentional about how I spend my time and who I spend it with makes all the difference.

Time is like money: it’s limited. I’d never spend my entire paycheck on things that don’t matter, yet I found myself doing the equivalent with my time.  When I started carefully reviewing my schedule and relationships, I realized that choosing where and with whom I invest my energy could completely change how fulfilling my life feels.

Why Being Intentional About Time Matters

Time is something we can never get back. As a wife and a busy mom juggling kids, a business, and a household, I’ve learned how precious every hour and minute truly is. But not everything or everyone is worth that precious energy.

Some relationships lift me up and recharge me, while others leave me feeling depleted. Recognizing this distinction has been a game-changer. It’s helped me focus on what truly matters and stop saying yes out of guilt or obligation.

When We Realized It Was Time to Evaluate

This realization hit hard when Avram and I had our second child. Suddenly, free time was almost nonexistent, and it became crystal clear which relationships were taking more than they gave. 

We discussed this in Episode 64 of the Babies and Business podcast, where we shared how we started treating our time like a budget. We’d ask ourselves, “Is this person or activity adding value, or is it draining us?”

We realized that some people, even those we cared about, just didn’t understand our schedule or the realities of parenting, and that’s okay. It wasn’t about being harsh or cutting people out but prioritizing what worked for our family and values.

How to Evaluate the Relationships in Your Life

If you’re feeling drained or overwhelmed, taking a closer look at your relationships can help you identify what’s working and what isn’t. 

Here’s a short guide to help you through the process:

1. Track Your Interactions

For one week, keep a simple record of who you spend time with and what you do together. This could include phone calls, in-person meetups, or even text conversations. Seeing how your time is distributed can help you better understand where your energy is going.

2. Reflect on How You Feel

After each interaction, take a moment to check in with yourself. Did you leave feeling energized, happy, or inspired? Or did you feel drained, frustrated, or overwhelmed? These feelings will help you identify which relationships are serving you and which aren’t.

3. Assess Compatibility

Consider how well the people in your life align with your current priorities, like work, family, or personal goals. Do they understand and respect your schedule and responsibilities? Relationships don’t have to be perfect, but mutual understanding and flexibility go a long way.

4. Consider Reciprocity

Think about the balance of give and take in your relationships. Does this person uplift and support you, or do they leave you feeling depleted? Healthy relationships should feel like a partnership, not a one-sided exchange.

5. Identify Energy-Givers

Focus on the people who leave you feeling uplifted, inspired, or recharged after you spend time together. These are the individuals who align with your values and make life brighter. Prioritize nurturing these connections—they’re worth your time and energy.

6. Spot the Energy-Takers

Pay attention to interactions that leave you feeling drained, stressed, or frustrated. Are there relationships you’re maintaining out of obligation or guilt? Recognizing these patterns can help you make more intentional choices about where to spend your time.

7. Set Boundaries

Decide how much time and energy you want to invest in each relationship. Learning how to set boundaries is essential—it’s okay to say no to people or commitments that don’t align with your priorities or well-being. Whenever you set a boundary, you create space for what truly matters. This approach allows you to reevaluate your relationships thoughtfully, helping you focus on the connections that bring joy and fulfillment into your life.

Refocusing on Meaningful Connections

Through this process, I’ve learned a few key lessons. First, it’s not about the quantity of time I spend with people but the quality of those interactions. A few hours with people who truly understand me can be far more meaningful than an entire day with those who don’t.

Second, prioritizing my family and close relationships is not only okay but necessary. As a busy mom, I’ve discovered that spending time with other families who understand our parenting struggles has made a huge difference in how supported I feel.

Lastly, I’ve realized that not everyone will understand my decisions, and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing my well-being.

Why This Process Is Worth It

Making these changes wasn’t easy, but it’s been so rewarding. I feel more energized, less stressed, and more connected to the people who matter. There’s more room in my life for joy and fulfillment, and I no longer feel weighed down by unnecessary commitments.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reflect on your time and relationships using the above guide and learn how to set boundaries to create space for people and commitments that align with your values.

Choose Your Tribe

This process isn’t about cutting people off or being selfish—it’s about creating a life that reflects what truly matters to you. When you start spending your time intentionally, you’ll notice how much lighter and more fulfilled you feel.

It’s like clearing out the clutter to make space for meaningful connections and moments of joy. Focusing on quality over quantity lets you build a life that feels balanced, rewarding, and authentically yours.

Surround you
rself with people who truly understand you, support and uplift you, and add value to your life.

Remember, your time is one of the most valuable resources you have. Spend it wisely, and choose a tribe that helps you thrive. You deserve it.